‘Are you okay?’ she asked, leaning me against the nearby garbage can.

‘I’m …’

I didn’t know what to say. Especially as there were cop cars racing into this back alley, their sirens drowning out all other sounds. At that moment the entire upper windows of the clinic blew out. Flames melting the frames, then exploding. An ambulance pulled up. The scrubs guy raced over, pointing madly at the burnt man on the ground. Cops were now everywhere, their movements frantic, disorganized, lost in the chaos of the fire.

‘Get the fuck out of here,’ one of the cops yelled at me and Elise. ‘Run!’

I was still winded from the punch to the stomach, my eyes stinging from the slap to the face. Elise yelled back at the cop:

‘I have to be with my people here.’

Another explosion from the top floor of the building.

‘You’re both out of here now,’ the cop yelled, then ran off. Elise wanted to follow him, but when the roof suddenly blew off we both started running toward the street.

‘I’ve got to get my car out of here,’ I said.

‘You’re in no condition to drive.’

‘That car is my life. No car, no money. And if the fire spreads –’

‘You have insurance. You are injured. You can’t –’

‘I’m fucking driving,’ I yelled at her. ‘I’ll get you home.’

‘I can’t leave …’ she yelled back.

But the shock was now slamming into her. I got my arm around Elise just before she fell forward. I got her upright and started leading her towards my car. It was at the back – a lucky break, as the cops had already cordoned off the front half of the lot. When we reached it she said:

‘You don’t have to drive us,’

‘I’m driving us. Get in.’

She got into the passenger seat.

‘In the back,’ I said.

‘Why can’t I sit here?’

‘Uber rules. In the back … please.’

She got out of the front. She got into the back seat. I hit the ignition button. We drove off. Once we were back on the 405 she leaned forward.

‘Are you sure you’re all right?’

I ignored the question, asking:

‘What kind of clinic is that place?’

‘It’s an abortion clinic.’

I said nothing for a few moments. Then:

‘Was that the first attack like this?’

‘Yes. We’ve had threats – the usual crazies. We didn’t think …’

Silence. I gripped the steering wheel. I felt a surge of anger, of fear. It sucker-punched me. Out of nowhere I now had an attack of the shakes. My entire body was overtaken by an extended shudder, my eyes fogging up as they became awash in tears. I gripped the wheel harder. I felt unable to see ahead. I began to swerve. A car horn blasted me.

‘You need to pull over,’ Elise said.

‘I’m okay,’ I said.