I was content just watching the scenery go by, but after a few minutes Josh asked, “So, should we listen to some music or a podcast or something?”

“Oh, sure. I’ve actually been meaning to get into podcasts, but I … well … haven’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s dumb, but I’m a little overwhelmed. There are just so many. And I don’t know what app to use.” I realised I must have sounded like an old person. Bugger. Most of the time I was with Josh, I wasn’t aware of our age difference and I didn’t want him to be either. “Have you got something we can listen to?” I asked brightly, taking the focus off how ancient I was.

“Yeah, sure. I listen to quite a few. You might like ‘99% Invisible’. It’s about how good design is practically unnoticeable.”

“Ooh, that sounds cool.”

“Here,” Josh handed me his phone and gave me the passcode. “I’ve connected it to the car’s Bluetooth.” I gave him a look that said, ‘What?’ and he added, “So we can listen through the speakers.” Oh, right. I totally knew that. Okay, that’s a lie—I totally didn’t.

He then explained how to navigate to the podcasts he’d downloaded. Eventually, I found the “99% Invisible” episodes and scrolled through, feeling far more tech-savvy than I deserved to.

“Oooh, how about the one on the Sagrada Familia?” I asked. “Barcelonaaaaa,” I half-sang Ed Sheeran as I did a little seat dance. “I love Barcelona—and the Sagrada Familia. Wowser—one of the most amazing places I’ve ever been.”

“For sure,” he said with laughter in his voice. “I listened to that when it came out, but I’m happy to play it again. It’s probably a good intro for you.”

“It changes all the time, you know, the cathedral.”

“Yeah, they talk about that in the podcast.” I was amusing him, I could tell.

“You know, I haven’t seen it in, like, ten years. It’d be worth going back. Maybe we could go—” I stopped myself too late, the words already out of my mouth. The thing was, we’d never talked about the next trip—or if there would even be one. It was like we had an unspoken agreement to see how Hawaii played out first.

Josh laughed uncomfortably. “Yeah, Barcelona’s definitely on my list.”

Back-pedal or proceed like I’m just a travel buddy? A travel buddy would forge ahead, fearlessly exploring the possibility of travelling to Barcelona together. But I didn’t want to be a travel buddy. Too many moments passed, and even if I’d had some clever way to back-pedal, it would have been too late.

Then a worse thought popped into my head.

Oh, my god. Travel buddies plus fuck buddies equals vacationship. I was certain I was right. That’s how Josh saw us—as a seriously fucked-up equation.

I pressed play on the podcast.

I only half-listened to the first bit, my mind still in overdrive, but after a few minutes it lured me from my sickening thoughts. The episode was so engaging that I ended up enjoying it. When a second episode started up, one about the English road-sign system, I let it play, but at the end of that episode, I stopped the app.