And then I remembered what James had told me about Christian—how he’d opened up to me, and that I’d desperately wanted to take away the hurt I saw in his eyes. Was that falling in love, or something close to it?

I swallowed and popped the second half of the biscuit into my mouth. More pensive chewing. But even if I set aside what we’d shared about our siblings, there were all those lovely things James had said about me. Apparently, I was a “breath of fresh air”, and if I was completely honest with myself, it felt wonderful to be appreciated like that.

I swallowed again and looked at my sister, who was curled up on an armchair watching me. “Perhaps I am falling for him.”

She nodded, seemingly to respect the weight of what I’d just said. “And you also think you might be falling for Josh,” she said simply.

I bit my lip. Oh god, she was right. I had serious feelings for two men. I could no longer kid myself that this was all just a bit of fun.

And then I burst into tears.

Chapter 7

Goodbyes are hard. They are the single most excruciating thing about being a traveller. Forget jet lag and lost luggage and having your wallet stolen. Saying goodbye to loved ones is hands-down the worst part. And there’s always that tipping point, just over halfway into a trip when the time to say goodbye starts to loom ahead.

My time in London was coming to an end, and the thought of saying goodbye to Cat was eating me up inside. I knew when I was back home in Sydney, the distance between us would start to feel less acute, but there would be weeks, maybe even months before it would hurt less. The hardest part was not knowing when we would be together next.

And even though my sister was my number one person, the person I loved more than anyone, I felt almost as rotten at the thought of saying goodbye to James.

After the sleepover, we made plans to see each other one more time before I flew home. But when the invitation came on Thursday morning, I was torn. Saying “yes” would mean less time with Cat.

Surprisingly, Cat insisted I go. “We have today, tonight and tomorrow, then we’ll have the whole of Saturday together—and Sunday morning before I take you to the airport.” The word “airport” made me nauseous.

“Are you sure? This is my Cat time. Who knows when you’ll be in Sydney next, and I’m not sure when I can get back to the UK.”

“With how things are going with James, you’ll probably be back here before you know it. Ooh, you might even move here!”

As much as I loved Cat’s enthusiasm, she’d made a giant leap into the improbable and I’d have to rein her in. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“Oh, bollocks to that. That’s something old Sarah would say. You’re new Sarah now. And new Sarah is falling in love with a sexy millionaire, and she’s gunna move to London and live in that gorgeous house in Paddington and I’ll see her all the time.” She punctuated her fantasy-fuelled diatribe by doing a little dance.