I wanted him inside me.

“James,” I whispered. “I want you.”

He reached underneath me and flicked open the clasp of my bra. He slid it off one shoulder, and I slid it off the other. When it was free of both arms, he took it off me and put it on the bed beside me. His mouth moved to my right breast, as his hand caressed my left. I was in agony for want of him.

His mouth moved lower and his fingers ran gently along the band of my knickers. He slid them off me. “James.” I was writhing beneath him and then his mouth was on me, and he took me to the brink, then beyond while I called out his name like they do in the movies.

When I’d climaxed and my senses had returned, I looked down at him as he slowly made his way back up my body, his eyes locked on mine. “James,” I said one more time.

“Yes, my darling,” he said finally, peppering my face with tiny kisses.

“I want you inside me.” This time he didn’t hesitate.

“Well, I kind of have my answer there.” Lindsey was giving me a scrutinising look.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m pretty sure that the lost, dreamy look on your face right now is because of James.”

I ran my hands over my face and blew out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, but maybe it’s just the sex.”

She laughed then, a scoffing bark of a laugh, and it pissed me off. “What?”

“C’mon, Sez. This guy flies across the world to see you—”

“He’s here for work,” I insisted. “But, that’s not—”

She cut me off. “And to see you. And he’s taking you to New Zealand.” I tried to talk again. “And he told you he’s falling in love with you.”

“Are you finished?” She gave me a resigned look. “I know all that, but what if it’s just the sex for me?” She looked perplexed. I sighed again. “I only say that, because when I’m with him, I kind of feel like an imposter.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, that that Sarah is not me.” She shook her head at me. I was obviously not explaining myself very well. I put my wine glass down on the coffee table and sat up straight, gathering my thoughts. “Okay, look. Sometimes when I’m with James, I feel like a young girl who’s pretending to be a grown-up, like I don’t belong in that world, or with him. Like once he figures out that I’m just me, he’s not going to want me anymore.”

“Sez?” I detected the hint of pity in her voice, but I didn’t mind, because at least it meant she understood—or she was starting to.

“Yes?” I replied.

“Have you talked to him about this?”

“What? No!” I couldn’t think of anything more horrifying.

“So, I just want to make sure I’ve got this straight. James is falling in love with you, but you’re not sure it’s you he loves. Like, you you.”