He had worked himself into a lather, and part of me—okay, most of me—wanted to go to him and soothe him and tell him it wasn’t his fault. But something held me in place.

“And you know, over the past few months, I thought about asking if you saw him in London—and every time I chickened out, because I think I knew. And I can hardly blame you. I mean, if I was you, then I’d be into James too. And it’s not like I ever offered you more than this”—he threw his arms out, encompassing the room, the resort, the whole trip—“this vacationship.” He spat out the word as though it tasted nasty in his mouth.

Then he sat heavily on the edge of the bed, seemingly spent, the tears streaming down his face. It would soon be time to leave for the airport, but that wasn’t what I was thinking about. My mind had settled on one nauseating thought.

We’re breaking up.

When I spoke, my voice was thick with emotion, barely audible. “So, what do we do now?”

He shook his head, his eyes fixed on his hands which were wringing in his lap. He took a deep breath, then shook them out. “Now I take you to the airport, and we each go home. After that, I don’t know.” He looked at me then. “Can I come over there?”

I nodded, tears taking hold as I leapt to my feet. He was across the room in a heartbeat and we wrapped our arms around each other, holding on tightly. It was the hug of two people who shared something special, but had no idea what would come of it.

Essentially, we were right back where we were when we’d said goodbye in Greece. Only the feelings were deeper, and the situation was far more precarious.

“I don’t want to let you go, but you’ll miss your flight,” he said after several moments.

“I know. Goodbyes suck and there’s so much more to talk about.” I pulled away from him, so I could see his face. He looked pale and defeated, his eyes and nose red. It made me feel even worse, but I forced myself to look him in the eye.

“I’m so sorry about last night, Josh. I was a complete bitch and I am so ashamed. You didn’t deserve that.” Fresh tears sprung to his eyes. “I do care about you—you’re one of the most important people in my life. I hate that we’re saying goodbye like this, especially because this week has been brilliant. I have loved being here with you, okay?”

He nodded, much like a sad child would, and sniffled.

“And, I’m going to take a taxi to the airport.”

“No, I—”

“Yes, it’s just easier that way. I hate long, drawn-out goodbyes.”

“Okay,” he conceded. “Let me help you bring your bags down, though.”

“All right. I just need to splash some water on my face.” I let go of him and went back in the bathroom. I washed the tears and snot from my face and patted it dry with the fluffy hand towel. I had no idea what would happen with me and Josh, or if I’d ever see him again. It was a horrifying thought, but it was the truth.