“I’ll tell you something,” Emil said. “Ingrid was pregnant with you when we got married.”

“I know.”

Emil chuckled. “Do you, now?”

Kennet’s face was still numb, but he could feel the corners of his mouth lift. “I can count, Paps.”

“Well, then…”

Kennet sat on the floor, back to the shingles, arms around his bent knees. “What else do you want to tell me?”

“I’ve been to war and I’ve seen fear that can’t be put into words. But you don’t know the true definition of fear until you look into the eyes of a young, unmarried woman who’s discovered she’s going to have a baby. A woman in that position doesn’t have a lot of choices. In fact, she only has two: make herself not pregnant, or make herself not unmarried. Choosing will drive her to swift, sometimes desperate action. She’s worrying more about what others will think and say, than worrying what’s best for her.”

Kennet raised a single index finger as he looked his father in the eye. “If I’d known Astrid was pregnant, I would’ve gone after her.”

You should’ve gone anyway.

“I would’ve helped you.”

“If she wasn’t married, I’d still go after her.”

You should still go. Go now. Go get her.

“I’d still help you.”

Then help me now, Kennet wanted to scream. But didn’t. He rubbed the heel of his hand across his sternum. “I feel fucking sick.”

“I know you do.”

“My whole chest feels caved in.”

“For sure.”

“I think my heart’s broken.”

“I don’t doubt it, son. And I’m so damn sorry. But hear me through. Try if you can to put Astrid’s shoes on. An unmarried woman discovering she’s pregnant will do desperate things and think about the consequences later. Your mother had granite nerves and an iron stomach, but she was beside herself when she found out you were on the way. The war not over and my chances of living slim to none. Not to mention we’d known each other about as long as you and Astrid. Maybe less when you add all the days up.” He rubbed his hands together and sighed. “I don’t need to tell you a woman’s got other choices, but she takes an even worse gamble with her life if she goes that way.”

“Was it ever an option?”

Emil looked at him. “No. Come hell or Hildur, we were together. Because when you know, you know.”

“That’s the trouble. I knew. But I didn’t…know.”

“All I mean to say is don’t judge Astrid too harshly.”