Back A Private Function
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

HALLIWELL   It entails washing his underwear. It entails taking his jumpers to Sketchley’s. It entails poaching his fucking eggs and it entails reading his manuscripts and finding every single thing I have ever thought or said has been included.

WOMAN 2   (who has not been listening) That must be very rewarding.

HALLIWELL   (shouting) If you are referring, madam, to the occasional bout of mutual masturbation, no, it is not rewarding at all.

PEGGY   (rescuing Halliwell) I love my screen.

HALLIWELL   Honestly?

PEGGY   (putting her arm through his) Ken.
The gallery empties as we jump forward in time with Peggy.

(voice-over) People tried, you see. But Ken was so touchy.
Nobody could understand it. One of them so bright and funny and clever, the other such a plain, envious failure … Oh, that’s not fair … It’s just that people shouldn’t marry young, that’s all.

INT. UNDERGROUND STATION. NIGHT. 1967.

Orton and Halliwell are going down in a crowded lift.

A good-looking youth has caught Orton’s eye.

HALLIWELL   ‘How do you justify your existence?’ ‘I’m Joe Orton’s friend.’ As if it’s a profession. It’s not a profession. It’s a fucking full-time job, but it’s not a profession.
The lift stops and as the passengers go down the tunnel to the platform Orton hangs back. Halliwell goes on. The youth stops, looks back at Orton then turns and follows him. Halliwell stops and watches the successful pick-up, then goes on alone.

INT. EMPTY UNDERGROUND STATION. NIGHT. 1967.

Close-up on Orton’s face, waiting. The youth appears. We hold on youth’s face and see Orton’s hand go out of frame and hear a zip go down. A faint smile spreads over the youth’s face.

LAHR   (voice-over) Was this customary?

PEGGY   (voice-over) Oh yes! According to the diaries practically a daily occurrence.

LAHR   (voice-over) But you lost his diaries.

PEGGY   (voice-over) Oh yes.

INT. ORTON AND HALLIWELL’S FLAT. NIGHT. 1967.

Halliwell sits in the flat waiting for Orton’s return. He telephones.

INT. PEGGY RAMSAY’S OFFICE. NIGHT. 1967.

Close-up on Peggy.

PEGGY   I just called in to get some contracts. No. I haven’t seen him. I thought he left with you. Of course I wanted it. 
I wouldn’t have bought it if I hadn’t. I shall have it here in the office. Yes, if he rings I’ll tell him. Bye.
She puts the phone down, looking a little shame-faced. Camera pulls out and we see Orton is there with Philip. Orton seems oblivious of the call, or deliberately so.

PHILIP   Then what?

ORTON   Then he did the same for me.
Philip looks interested. Peggy less so.

PEGGY   Can we eat? I’m starving.

ORTON   I write it all down. All the sex. It’s all in my diaries.

PEGGY   How did he know you were here?

ORTON   (shrugs.) You do, don’t you? When you’re in that state. 
You know everything.