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Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

GALLERY OWNER   Ah! The avalanche begins.
The Gallery Owner breaks away and goes to the table to get glasses for Peggy and Philip.

PEGGY   We came together.

ORTON   Always the best way. Philip.
He kisses Philip.

PHILIP   Joe.

PEGGY   Ken.
She kisses Halliwell.

PHILIP   Kenneth. Your big day. How are you, Joe?

PEGGY   Now, where are these pictures?
She takes Halliwell’s arm and he walks round with her, leaving Orton with Philip, who stands in the middle of the room, surveying the pictures but not very interested. More people are arriving.

ORTON   (muttering to Philip) Nice of you to come.

PHILIP   Girls must stick together. I had a friend once who was in soft furnishings. The times I’ve trailed round the Ideal Home Exhibition!

ORTON   I’ve had an invitation from the Lord Mayor of London.
It’s a banquet for those eminent in the Arts and Sciences.

PHILIP   How exciting.

ORTON   It’s just because I’ve sold the film rights to Loot. I’m as rich as they are so they invite me to their rubbishy dinner.

PHILIP   I believe they have excellent turtle soup. (Pause.) Who’s paying for this?
Orton says nothing but it’s plain that he is.
You’re a saint.
The Gallery Owner passes.

GALLERY OWNER   Success! Our first sale.

HALLIWELL   Peggy’s bought my cat screen. And I’ve almost sold another.
He goes to someone looking at the picture as Peggy joins Orton and Philip.

ORTON   You’ve no need to.

PEGGY   I like it.

PHILIP   You’ve no need to either. Not any more. You don’t owe him anything, Joe. Leave him.

ORTON   I can’t. No, I couldn’t.
Peggy goes to the table and signs a cheque and we see the Gallery Owner put a red dot on the screen as Peggy’s interview with Lahr continues.

LAHR   (voice-over) And was he going to leave him?

PEGGY   (voice-over) No shortage of offers. (She sighs.) I don’t know.

LAHR   (voice-over) Could he have left him?

PEGGY   (voice-over) You’re married. How can you tell?

WOMAN   He was in prison you know. They both were.

MAN   What for? Sex?

WOMAN   (shrugs) I suppose that’s where he learned it. Therapy.
There is a group around Orton chatting and laughing, with fewer and fewer people looking at the collages.
And what do you do?

HALLIWELL   I’m the artist.

WOMAN   Really? They’re very unusual.

GALLERY OWNER   It seems to be going well.

HALLIWELL   Have we sold any more?

GALLERY OWNER   No, but I’m getting lots of enthusiasm.

WOMAN 2   Isn’t that Joe Orton?

HALLIWELL   Yes.

WOMAN 2   I loved Loot.

HALLIWELL   The title was mine actually. I give him all his titles.
I’m his personal assistant.

WOMAN 2   Really? I don’t care for these at all. (Refers to the collages.) What does that entail?