(nailing Allardyce) I think little Veronica is going to startle us one of these days. I’m going to throw caution to the winds and have a sweet sherry. Nobody else?
Awkward pause.

MOTHER   (to Dr Swaby) I went by train to Lytham two years ago to see my sister-in-law. I travelled all by myself and I changed twice. Didn’t I, Joyce?

JOYCE   Dr Swaby’s not interested in your holidays, Mother. Gilbert, I don’t think we want that animal in here while we’re having our cocktails, do we?
Allardyce is feeding the pig cocktail snacks, those, at any rate, that Mother isn’t eating.

DR SWABY   Let’s get the pig and go.

NUTTALL   (looking through curtains) We can’t. He’s sat outside.

INSPECTOR NOBLE   Who?

NUTTALL   Wormold. He suspects me.

INSPECTOR NOBLE   Jesus. Is there a back way?

JOYCE   Alas, no.

INSPECTOR NOBLE   Can you get over the wall?

LOCKWOOD   We can’t get the pig over the wall.

INSPECTOR NOBLE   I’m not thinking about the pig. I’m thinking about me.

DR SWABY   (barring the way) We’re all in this together.

INSPECTOR NOBLE   (to Nuttall) Why should he suspect you?

LOCKWOOD   Because he’s the only flaming butcher left, that’s why. He’s shopped all the others. Now it’s his turn.

NUTTALL   (hurt) That’s unkind. There’s only one thing to do. I shall have to kill it here.

ALLARDYCE   Here?

GILBERT   Now?

JOYCE   Slaughter it here? What a splendid idea. We’d be only too pleased. All our facilities are at your disposal.
She brings out the large knife. Nuttall takes it ponderously. Joyce smiles a disarming smile.

NUTTALL   I’m going to need lots of hot water. And get Preston round. Ring Sutcliff’s.
Gilbert puts more coal on the fire.

MOTHER   (to Dr Swaby) Seven nines are sixty-three.

INT. CHILVERS’ HALL. NIGHT.

Allardyce is saying his last farewells to the pig. It’s snuffling cocktail snacks from his hand. Gilbert witnesses this scene as he comes up from the cellar, below the stairs, with a heavy hammer. He hides it behind his back.

GILBERT   We Could …

ALLARDYCE   What?

GILBERT   (looking about) We could let her go.

ALLARDYCE   Yes? Where?

GILBERT   I don’t know. Set her up somewhere in a sty. Not kill her, just keep her.

ALLARDYCE   They’d go mad. All right.

GILBERT   I’ve got a car. Grab hold.
As Gilbert moves towards the back-kitchen door, Nuttall comes out of the surgery.
Too late. (suddenly opening the door) Go on, Betty, go on.
Barging his way through, Nuttall slams the door, locks it and takes the key. Turning, he looks at Gilbert and Allardyce.

NUTTALL   Silly twats.
Grabbing the hammer off Gilbert, he goes back into the surgery, weighing the hammer in his hand. Assembled in there is an ad hoc killing tackle, mostly drawn from Joyce’s kitchen.

INT. CHILVERS’ SITTING ROOM. NIGHT.