GILBERT   Got to go to the toilet.
He gets up and goes towards the Gents.

INT. HOTEL GENTS. NIGHT.

There are six stalls in the lavatory. The end one is occupied and as Gilbert comes in we see the man glance at Gilbert. Suddenly Gilbert is conscious of someone on either side of him, also pissing. It is Inspector Noble and Nuttall. He doesn’t say anything. Then Dr Swaby comes in and stands in a stall and so does Lockwood. Allardyce tries to, but there is no room for him, so he hangs about behind. From his agitated demeanour he is plainly the only one who actually wants a piss.

LOCKWOOD   How much do you want?

GILBERT   Beg pardon?

DR SWABY   You’ve got something we want. Something that belongs to us. Something with four legs and a little curly tail.

INSPECTOR NOBLE   Shall we adjourn?
They are all leaving.

ALLARDYCE   (stepping into a stall) Hang on. I haven’t been.
Allardyce steps into a stall, thankful at last to be able to relieve himself. But the man in the end stall now sidles up and stands in the stall next to him. A look of consternation comes over Allardyce’s face and he rapidly buttons up and leaves, still not having managed to empty his bladder.

INT./EXT. WORMOLD’S CAR/HOTEL. NIGHT.

Wormold studies the men as they come out of the hotel. He becomes agitated – Nuttall is not among them. Then Nuttall does come out. As he sets off in his van, Wormold follows.

INT. CHILVERS’ HALL. NIGHT.

Gilbert opens the door.

GILBERT   (going into sitting room) Come in.
They follow him in, Mother watching them pass from behind the door.

MOTHER   No pig. No pig.
Seeing Dr Swaby, Mother claps her hands to her face in horror.

INT. CHILVERS’ SITTING ROOM. NIGHT.

GILBERT   I’ll just get my wife.

DR SWABY   We don’t want your wife. We want the pig.

MOTHER   There is no pig. No pig.
Gilbert goes.
I know the name of the prime minister. I know what year it is. I’ve been going to beetle drives till quite recently.

INT. JOYCE’S AND GILBERT’S BEDROOM. NIGHT.

Joyce, knife in hand, is crouched by the dressing table. Gilbert comes in.

JOYCE   Don’t move. I’ve got it cornered.

GILBERT   Stop. You can’t.

JOYCE   Out of my way, nancy!

GILBERT   Dr Swaby’s downstairs. Mr Lockwood.

JOYCE   Downstairs? But I’m not dressed.

GILBERT   It’s their pig. We stole their pig.

JOYCE   (stunned, large knife in hand) Their pig?

GILBERT   We stole their pig.

JOYCE   We? You. Get me my dress.
The bedroom door is pushed open as we hear Allardyce’s voice.

ALLARDYCE   (out of vision, enticingly) Betty. Who’s this then, Betty?
Round the door comes his hand holding a ginger nut biscuit. Joyce can only stare. The pig appears from behind the dressing table and makes a beeline for the ginger nut.