Back A Private Function
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

RUFUS   It’s the same everywhere.

GEORGE   It’s all round here.

PAULINE   They never catch them.

RUFUS   You are on your own these days. Wartime.
Rufus has turned, so that the camera, shooting directly on him, also takes in the stage behind. We see Dickie walking briskly past, accompanied by an assistant.

INT. STUDIO. OUTSIDE FRONT DOOR. NIGHT.

Stella is having last touches done to her hair.

Dickie walks into shot. A prop man rings the doorbell.

STELLA   Got your radio?

DICKIE   (panicking) Oh hell! …

INT. HALL. NIGHT.

The bell sounds again. Glyn crosses to the door, unbolts it. Stella enters. George and Betty come forward to greet her.

BETTY   Stella, thank God!

STELLA   Thank God, thank God! What a journey: I’m dead. Are we late?

GEORGE   Not a bit.

STELLA   What’s happened to the street lights?

BETTY   There were some.

STELLA   There aren’t now. Then Dickie would insist on looking for a policeman.

GEORGE   A policeman?

STELLA   Of course there weren’t any.
Pauline appears from the drawing room.

PAULINE   Stella!

STELLA   Pauline!

GEORGE   Where’s Dickie?
Glyn takes Stella’s coat.

STELLA   Oh, thank you very much.

GEORGE   Come on, Dickie, hurry up. Let’s get this door closed.
As Glyn takes Stella’s coat to the room off the hall, he passes the open door. We stay on the door as Dickie comes in. George bolts the door. Glyn removes Dickie’s coat. Dickie hastens after him to remove a small transistor radio from the pocket.

INT. DRAWING ROOM. NIGHT.

In the drawing room Rufus is left alone with Harold. Offstage we hear a reprise of the dialogue about the absence of furniture.

GEORGE   On the road.

STELLA   On the road? Where?

BETTY   Leeds, possibly.

STELLA   Leeds!

BETTY   It was just going to be the old crowd, you and Dickie, Rufus and Pauline …

GEORGE   Oscar, Peter, Sue.

BETTY   Thinking we’d all be settled in.
Voices fade and return.
So we thought to hell with it. Why not camp out?

GEORGE   Squat.

STELLA   Squat.

BETTY   So we’re squatting.

GEORGE   Living out of a suitcase and loving every minute of it.
Rufus wanders round the room. Goes up to take his empty glass to put on Harold’s tray. Takes a full one. Looks hard at Harold, who is unperturbed.

RUFUS   I’ve seen you before.
Harold says nothing.

RUFUS   I know you. You don’t work for me, do you? You’re not one of my employees?

HAROLD   I’m an actor.

RUFUS   Really? I’ve never seen you. Are you out of work?

HAROLD   Not at the moment.

RUFUS   I could use someone like you. What are they giving you for this? Twenty pounds? Thirty? I could double that. You’re wasting your time here.

EXT. ENGLISH ROADS. DAY.

Camera tracks with the van. Brian is driving. Kevin is feeding him with sandwiches and coffee from a thermos.

INT. DRAWING ROOM. NIGHT.