BooksBarbecue
Back A Private Function
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

HALLIWELL   Yes.

PSYCHIATRIST   You don’t mean you want to have sex?

HALLIWELL   No, we do.

PSYCHIATRIST   But your friend’s not like that, is he? He’s married. He’s got a child. You seem surprised. Are you?

HALLIWELL   Not really.

PSYCHIATRIST   Besides, your friend’s much younger than you.

INT. PRISON. CORRIDOR. DAY. 1962.

The Psychiatrist strolls with Orton down the corridor, back towards Orton’s room.

PSYCHIATRIST   This may come as a shock to you, but I suspect your friend may be … homosexual.

ORTON   Jesus. And there I am sleeping in the same room with him.

PSYCHIATRIST   You mentioned your wife. Where is she now?

ORTON   Last time I heard she’d taken the kiddy to Lyme Regis.

PSYCHIATRIST   Try and team up with them again. Make a fresh start.

ORTON   Don’t you worry.
They have come to the door of Orton’s room.

PSYCHIATRIST   Not too spartan, is it?

ORTON   On the contrary. A room of one’s own.
He enters the room.

INT. PRISON. ORTON’S ROOM. DAY. 1962.

Orton lies down on the bed, smiling. He takes up a pad and starts writing.

PEGGY   (voice-over) Prison gives a writer credentials.

LAHR   (voice-over) For everyone else it takes them away.

PEGGY   (voice-over) It was the first time in ten years they’d been split up.

LAHR   (voice-over) So prison was a taste of freedom.

PEGGY   (voice-over) For Joe.

INT. ORTON AND HALLIWELL’S FLAT. DAY. 1963.

Orton takes the cover off his typewriter and begins to copy something out.

HALLIWELL   I can’t stand you typing. It’s a dead end; we’re going to have to forget all that.

ORTON   Why don’t you go dangle your flaccid tool over the window sill? Some casual passer-by might give it a pull. I’m working.

HALLIWELL   (shouting at Orion’s back) Working? This doesn’t bring anything in. It never has. We owe money. We want jobs. Proper jobs. Work nine to five. It’s time we joined the human race.
Orton is typing with a set face.

ORTON   You can. I’m not.
Halliwell starts reading over his shoulder.

HALLIWELL   When did you do this? I haven’t seen this.

ORTON   It’s a radio play. I did it on my own. In prison. I’ve sent it to the BBC.

HALLIWELL   Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you write a proper letter. You’ll never hear back.

ORTON   (indicating the letter) I already have.
Halliwell reads and Orton begins weight-lifting. Halliwell starts to read aloud.

HALLIWELL   ‘We had a little room. And our life was made quite comfortable by the National Assistance Board. We had a lot of friends. All creeds and colours. No circumstances at all. We were happy enough. We were young.’

INT. BBC STUDIO. DAY. 1963.

Actors in front of microphone.