I said, “Oh, OK. Well … are you, er, coming back into Heckmondwhite?”

He came a bit closer and sat down on the branch where I’d been hanging upside down. Oh God, had he seen me doing that? Thank Jehosophat, I’d got my trousers on.

He was looking down at his feet.

“No, not yet. Ah’ll leave it a bit longer, let things quiet dahn.”

I said, “Where have you—I mean, have you got a nice cave to stay in?”

He laughed. “I’m not a bloody dog.”

I felt a bit stupid.

Then he sighed. “Ay up, I’m sorry, I know tha’s being nice. You’re a funny one, you, aren’t you?”

I sniffed, “Oh yeah, that’s me. The funny one. I know you make fun of me and call me stuff.”

He looked at me.

“I don’t mean to mek fun of thee, it’s just my way. Since me mam went, I don’t get on with wimmen right well. They’re not straight, they allus want summat.”

I said, “Well, I don’t want summat. I mean, I don’t want anything.”

He looked at me and I couldn’t help looking back. There was something about his dark eyes.

“Oh, I think you do want something. You just don’t rightly know what it is.”

I was feeling very sort of scared, I don’t know why. Maybe because I never know what he’s going to do. Poke me with a stick, laugh at me. Lick my nose.

He said, “I mek thee feel funny.”

I said, “Hahahahahaha.”

He said, “Anyway up, I’d best be off … to my cave.”

And he laughed and stood up.

“You bloody duck egg, a cave.”

I said, “Well, anyway, erm, see you.”

I turned to go back down the path.

My legs felt very wobbly.

They had better not do anything unusual.

I didn’t hear him going off, but then I hadn’t heard him arrive.

Maybe he’d got slippers on. Why would he wear his slippers outside. He didn’t seem the slippers kind of …

He was still there, because he said softly and seriously, “Lullah, I shouldn’t ask thee this, it might cause you trouble, but will you do summat for me.”

I turned round.

He walked toward me, quite slowly, and stood right in front of me. He is quite tall. Now I could see his eyes properly in the moonlight. So black. I felt like a mesmerized mouse. He’d better not peck my head off.

Then he said, “I want thee to kiss me.”

I was absolutely paralyzed.

He put both his hands on the sides of my face and bent down and kissed me.

At first I thought my head would just fall off.

But when my brain unfroze … I liked it.

He put his hands on my waist and they felt warm and strong.

The kissing thing was a combination of softness and hardness. And it wasn’t just my mouth. My whole body felt tingly and warm and sort of melty. He stopped kissing me for a minute, and I didn’t want him to. I could feel his breath on my face, all warm in the cold night.