The five of us went over to the telephone box at about quarter to seven and stood around waiting. It was all a bit tense.

Jo kept saying, “What shall I say? What will he say? Why is he calling? Is he calling me because he doesn’t want to see me again? Why would he call to say that? I wouldn’t call to say that, would you?”

On and on.

Honey said, “Welax. Bweathe. Think ‘I am in my glorwee. I am gorguth. I have got a twemendous bottom.’”

We were so nervous that even though we’d been waiting for the phone to ring when it did we all screamed with fright. Jo stared at the ringing telephone like a demented rabbit and I had to get her by the shoulders and put her next to the phone. And pick it up for her.

We stood a little way off to give her some privacy.

Flossie said, “What’s her face doing?”

I looked. “I think she’s shouting.”

Oh dear.

Ruby came out of the darkness with Matilda. Matilda was still wearing her tutu although I noticed it was a bit grubby and had almost come off at the back.

Ruby said, “What’s Jo doing?”

I said, “She’s shouting.”

Ruby said, “Oh, bloody hell, I hope she doesn’t vandalize the phone box.”

As we waited like telephone guard dogs, more and more people were turning up at the hall and queuing to go in. It was mostly locals but no sign of the Bottomlys. One or two of the village girls looked at us but they didn’t smile.

Then Jo slammed down the phone and came out of the phone box. She looked like thunder.

Oh nooooo.

We went up to her and gave her a group hug. And she started sobbing. Oh crikey.

Then she yelled, “Get off me, you losers!!!! He likes me, he likes me, he really, really likes me. AND he’s got a plan. He’s got a plan!!!”

We all started whooping.

Vaisey said, “What is it? What is his plan? Is he going to be good and ask to come back to Woolfe Academy?”

Jo said, “No, he is going to do something SOOOOO bad that he will get sent back to Woolfe Academy in disgrace by his very disappointed parents!! Yes!”

I said, “What sort of thing is he thinking of?”

Jo said, “I don’t know, he thought at first he might burn the school caretaker’s shed down with Bunsen burners but he thought that might get him sent to Borstal. It has to be something bad, but not criminal.”

Vaisey said, “He could tie all the teachers’ shoelaces together so they fall over.”

Flossie said, “He could kidnap the headmaster and then just send bits of his clothes to the school. You know, like a bit of his tie, or the toe from one of his socks. With a ransom note saying, ‘Let Phil go back to Woolfe, otherwise the trousers get it!’”

She really has gone mad.