Two minutes later, Vanessa was at Joan’s front door. Her face was red. Joan hated herself for ever making Vanessa cry like that. But denial wasn’t going to fix any of this.

“I’m not the one I’m worried about here. I don’t care if I lose my job,” Joan said. “I will find another one somewhere. At some university, if I have to. I’ll teach freshmen again if it comes to it. I don’t care. But you. You can’t give up what you’ve been working so hard for.”

“I told you,” Vanessa said. “I don’t care.”

“But I do,” Joan said. “Maybe you don’t care about yourself enough to do what’s smart, but I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t look out for you.”

Vanessa wiped the tear from Joan’s face.

“You don’t know what’s best for me,” Vanessa said. “As much as you may think you do.”

Joan sighed. “But…”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” Vanessa said. “But if it’s you or the space shuttle…fuck the space shuttle.”

Joan dropped her head and laughed. Then she looked back up at Vanessa. “The woman I fell in love with would never have said that,” Joan said.

Vanessa smiled her lopsided grin. “Then I guess I’m not the woman you fell in love with.”

It was more than three years ago that Vanessa had pushed Joan up against the very door they now stood in front of.

Joan had told her that she thought she’d always be alone. Vanessa had told her that she thought she’d never have the things other people had.

But maybe they’d both been wrong.

Joan pulled Vanessa toward her and kissed her up against the door.

“We’re idiots, you know,” Joan said.

And Vanessa smiled. “I know.”

“So what’s your plan?” Joan said.

Vanessa shook her head. “I don’t have one. Yet. But I will figure it out.”

“Oh, you will, will you?”

“I will.”

“Well, why don’t we start with this?” Joan said. “Sneak out of here quietly. Don’t call me while you’re in quarantine. That way, they won’t have any good reason to stop you from getting on LR9. Then, once you’re back, we will find a way.”

“Okay,” Vanessa said, kissing her neck. “At least you’re CAPCOM. So pretty soon I’ll be able to hear your voice.”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” Joan said. “On the loop.”

December 29, 1984