“I…I…” Joan remembers herself. “No, I am not. All of us here on the ground are heartbroken. But we are, at this moment, most concerned about how to support you in the objective to land the shuttle in an attempt to get all surviving astronauts home.”

Vanessa does not respond.

The seconds unfold, one after another. Seconds they do not have.

But then Vanessa’s voice comes through: “He was one of the best astronauts we have,” she says.

Joan tries to maintain her composure. “Affirmative” is all she can choke out.

“If I keep working on the doors,” Vanessa says, “what will happen to Lydia?”

Joan looks to Ray, who frowns. Then she turns to Jack. He nods at her.

“Navigator, Edwards is our last opportunity until we have a shot at KSC, twelve hours after.”

“Copy that, Houston. How much time does Lydia have?” Vanessa asks.

“We can’t lie to her about this,” Jack says.

Joan nods.

“Tell her,” he says. “It’s time.”

August 1981

The all-astronauts meeting that Monday looked like any other. The astronauts and directors were seated at the conference table and around the room. The ASCANs were lined up against the wall, Joan, Griff, Lydia, and Vanessa crammed into a corner.

Donna and Hank slipped in quietly at the last minute and took up the remaining spots by the door.

Then Antonio walked in.

Joan knew something out of the ordinary was about to happen. And while other people might have called this a sixth sense, Joan recognized it for what it was: perception. Antonio was carrying himself differently, walking slower, and holding back a smile.

“Today is a day that I know the astronauts in this room remember fondly from their own time as ASCANs,” he said.

Joan looked at Griff, and he raised his eyebrows.

“In the fall of 1979, we received three thousand one hundred and twenty-two applications for the astronaut program. In the early winter of 1980, we interviewed one hundred and twenty-one finalists and selected the top eighteen to become astronaut candidates.”

Lydia caught Joan’s eye.

“Today, one year and one month after we began this training and evaluation, I can confidently say that the eighteen members of NASA Astronaut Group 9 have proven themselves to be some of the finest candidates NASA has ever had the pleasure to train. And it is my honor to declare that you are no longer ASCANs. Gentlemen—and ladies—we are immensely proud to call you, as of this moment, astronauts. Congratulations.”

Everyone started cheering. Joan caught Vanessa’s eye and, this time, could not bring herself to look away. Vanessa smiled.

—

Later that day, after elementary school was out, Joan picked up the phone at her desk at NASA and called Barbara.

“Can you put Frances on, too?” Joan asked.

Barbara called Frances to the phone, and when Joan could hear both of them, she told them the news.

“Did you get the silver pin?” Frances asked.