“Yes, miss.”

“Do you have any takoyaki?”

“No, miss. Only chicken and tropical foods.”

“Okay. I’ll start with twenty chicken nuggets, and all the sweet-and-sour sauce you can give me, please.”

“Sorry, miss, we don’t have chicken nuggets, anymore, but we do have a new chicken sandwich — it’s only twenty bucks.”

“What’s my tab now?”

“With the sandwich, altogether it’ll be $88.89.”

“Charge it,” says the Yokai; she pours a handful of sand onto the waiter’s tray. He leaves, confused but silent, while she produces a large pair of sunglasses out of thin air and leans back to take better stock of her surroundings. Funny how she is one of only three human-looking creatures on the beach. On either side of her lie two gorgeous futakuchi-onna in bikinis fanning themselves and sticking maraschino cherries on toothpicks under their hair for their extra mouths to enjoy. A gaze of tanuki emerge from the water to ogle them at a closer distance. A herd of gigantic green cows, all with three eyes, now wander onto the sand from the cantina, looking confused and out of place. A large black lacquered Daruma with two eyes rolls up behind them, followed by a pack of huge, scruffy-looking cats with forked tails. More odd-looking animals and people and demons appear to be playing and relaxing all along the beach. But no one, not even the futakuchi-onna, look anything like the Yokai. For once, she thinks as she lies back with a peaceful sigh, this does not bother her so much.

“Whoa, ho, ho,” says one of the cats, looking around. “Where the hell are we? Okinawa?”

“I don’t think so,” says one of the three-eyed cow demons, its eyes trained on a waitress with a heaving tray of steamy, caramelized plantain. “I have a feeling we’re way farther from our neck of the woods.”

“Don’t you mean, neck of the mountains?” says the fan in a futakuchi-onna’s hand.

“Whatever, Sensu-sama. How did we get here?”

“Forget about us! What is she doing here?” Another fork-tailed cat points a claw at the lounging Yokai. “What are you doing, freaking sunbathing?”

“Yes. I sunbathe. So what? You know, y’all are really messing with my vibe. I’m supposed to be on vacation.”

“You’re supposed to be fighting the Nightmare King!” the Daruma wails.

“Who?”

“Akki! You know, the King of Nightmares? The boar god that’s been after you? Hello?!”

“Akki?” The giant octopus stops mid-chorus. “Oh, hell no.” It drops its sticks and slithers away as best an octopus can slither across a sandy coastline.

“You guys are weird. I don’t see any boars.” The Yokai looks up and down the beach, then reclines back against her chair. “Besides, this place is all sand. Boars don’t — whoa, what’s up with that? Sunset, already?”