Contents ( 99)
- Tony Parsons
- Contents
- About the Author
- Shopping for Pain
- Wanting
- 1
- Christian
- 2
- Tara
- 3
- Tara
- 4
- Tara
- 5
- Christian
- 6
- Tara
- 7
- Tara
- 8
- Christian
- 9
- Tara
- 10
- Tara
- 11
- Tara
- 12
- Christian
- THIRTEEN
- Christian
- 14
- Tara
- 15
- Tara
- HAVING
- 16
- Tara
- 17
- Christian
- 18
- Tara
- 19
- Christian
- 20
- Tara
- 21
- Christian
- 22
- Tara
- 23
- Christian
- 24
- Tara
- 25
- Tara
- 26
- Tara
- 27
- Tara
- 28
- Christian
- 29
- Tara
- 30
- Tara
- 31
- Tara
- 32
- Christian
- Losing
- Tara
- 34
- Christian
- 35
- Tara
- 36
- Christian
- 37
- Tara
- 38
- Christian
- 39
- Tara
- 40
- Christian
- 41
- Tara
- 42
- Tara
- 43
- Christian
- 10 YEARS ON
- THE ONE BAR, TOKYO
- Tara
- ONE
- Lana
- Saturday 29 August
- THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
‘I just came from your home,’ he repeated. ‘Are you even listening to me, Tara. I have just come from your home. I met your husband – Christian? And the dog. Christian gave me the grand tour.’ He chuckled knowingly. ‘I saw the bed, Tara. Your marital bed.’
And at first I had believed that it was a lie, one more in James Caine’s litany of poisonous lies, all those lies that he used to torment me. But for once Caine was telling the truth. I walked in a dream through the cool shadows of the stable. Uncle Jack came forward to take charge of Maple and Marlon skipped after them. I retreated into a dark corner as James Caine kept talking.
‘There’s a framed magazine cover of you in the hallway,’ he said, proving he was telling the terrible truth. ‘I like you in that little black dress. Have you still got it? I would like to have you in a room for a couple of hours wearing that dress.’
My heart had clenched like a fist.
‘It’s not true,’ I said, my knuckles white as I gripped my phone, knowing it was true.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘We – my family – are looking at properties in your area. I might make your husband an offer.’ A short laugh. ‘For the house, I mean!’
And I was struck dumb because he had all the power and I was nothing now.
‘We need to talk to your husband,’ James Caine said, always keen to kick me hardest when I was down. ‘Christian. We need to talk to Christian together.’ The familiarity turned my stomach. ‘It’s not fair for Christian to not be aware of what’s going on. And frankly, Tara, I need to know where I stand.’
He was all business and common sense and I felt like I was losing my mind.
His voice was full of what sounded like real hurt. It was as if we were entering a difficult period of our relationship, as if we had truly been together, as if he mattered, as if he could take the place of Christian.
My head reeled. How had this happened?
‘I don’t want to have to tell him alone,’ Caine said, and then the little lash of the whip to keep me pliant. ‘But if you push me – I will.’
I could imagine him on the doorstep of my home. I could see him totally clearly, I could see him standing there and ringing the bell and Christian opening the door and the two men looking at each other before James Caine spoke, shoving our dirty secret into the light.
He would be doing to me what Ginger had originally wanted us to do to him. But we were never going to do it, I knew, we were never going to turn up on his doorstep in Brighton to terrify him into leaving me alone. I was not that brave, and I had too much to lose. But he could do it, I saw now, and I knew that the one with less fear is the one with all the power.