‘With a man like your dad, once is plenty.’

As tired as she was, as upset as she was, Tara had the old light in her eyes, the light that had made me fall in love with her.

‘Guess what?’ she said. ‘We finally ran out of Prosecco. Can you believe it? But there’s a bottle of Pinot Noir that’s come all the way from New Zealand.’

‘I don’t care what we drink,’ I said.

So we shared the bottle of Pinot Noir together, and we came together, and we slept together as we had on so many other nights, and when the shallow sleep of dreams that I would never remember jolted me awake, the room was still dark, and the night still here and I found that Tara and I were holding hands. It always felt like a miracle to wake when she was still sleeping and discover that we were holding hands.

For I knew that you can love a lot of people in your time. But there’s only ever one person who will hold your hand when you are sleeping.

35

Tara

‘You told my father,’ I said. ‘You told my dad about James Caine.’

Ginger picked up one of the bottles of Australian Shiraz that she and Spike had brought round and examined the label. She unscrewed the top and poured herself a large glass. I watched her drain it.

‘Sorry about that. Obviously, I never dreamed—’

‘You told him,’ I said. ‘And now – all this.’

‘I told your father what you were going through because I was trying to help, Tara. And I told him because I knew he would want to know. And I told him because you were killing yourself and I didn’t know what else to do.’

We turned our heads to the living room, as the laughter of Christian and Spike drifted to the kitchen. I felt a flash of irritation with the pair of them. What was so funny?

I took the bottle from Ginger and poured myself a glass.

‘And what did you think would happen?’ I said. ‘After you told my father that some man was making my life a misery? What did you think he would do?’

‘I don’t know!’ she said. ‘I thought maybe go to see Caine with those scary guys who used to work for him – the two Daves. One look at them would have been enough to get him running back to Brighton.’

I shook my head. ‘My father doesn’t need the Daves to back him up. Not with James Caine or anyone else.’

I was aware of the insane pride in my voice.

‘I just hoped Leo would do something to make it all stop,’ Ginger said. ‘I didn’t think he would use a bloody pickaxe to do it.’

‘Nailing hammer.’

‘Nailing hammer. I called him as soon as it began, as soon as I knew, after you showed me the photographs of you sleeping, remember? After we were in the cafe. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him at his birthday party because of all those people – and then you flaking out – but I phoned him again right before you and I went to the hotel together. And Leo told me – he swore to me – that he hadn’t been up there because he knew it would get out of hand, and he said that there were other ways to get Caine to back off.’ She held my gaze. ‘Leo told me he hadn’t been to the hotel, Tara,’ she said.