‘You once said – most relationships don’t end too soon,’ Spike was saying, bringing me back. ‘Most relationships go on for too long.’

‘I don’t remember saying that to you.’

‘You said it to Christian. When he was moving out. He told me one night. In his cups.’

Now I remembered. I was trying to hurt Christian. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to break his heart because he had broken mine. You will say anything when you want to hurt someone bad enough.

‘I didn’t think you two would ever split up.’

He handed me the can of Japanese beer. I took a sip and passed it back.

‘Me neither. But as soon as there’s a third person in a marriage, it starts to come apart. Even if they’re only there for one night. Even if they are a mistake. You break the spell. That’s what happens when you let the third person in. And once you break the spell, anything is possible.’

‘Yes, but it’s like that old saying – why would you go out for a cheeseburger when you’ve got steak at home? And the answer is – because nobody wants to eat steak all the time, right?’

‘No, that’s not it. We don’t do it because we want a change of diet.’

‘Then why?’

‘Opportunity,’ I said. ‘We do it because we can.’

And then we live to regret it, I thought, and then we live to ask ourselves – was it worth it for a few hours of something masquerading as fun and a lifetime of lies? And you know the answer better than you have ever known anything.

‘Opportunity,’ Spike said, as if that was his cue.

He slowly got to his feet and came towards me, putting down his beer, his smile spreading across his face.

‘Opportunity,’ he said. ‘I like it.’

But I was so done with all of that. I was trying to focus on the things that mattered now. How was I going to raise my son? How was I going to make a living now that my business had collapsed? What would happen to my dad? What was I going to do with my life for the next fifty years now that I had lost Christian? Who would love me now?

Spike stood in front of me. He licked his lips.

‘Spike? Enough. I’ve got stuff to do.’

He looked offended.

‘But I was there for you, wasn’t I?’

‘You and Ginger were always there for me.’

He gathered his thoughts. You could watch them gathering on his stubbled, beach bum face.

‘You must have heard the rumours, Tara. During the investigation, I mean.’

I remembered Ginger’s panicked face.

Keep them right away from Spike.

Don’t mention Spike to the law.

‘There were rumours about a lot of people,’ I said. ‘The Daves. Christian. But there’s only one man they put away.’

His face winced with what looked like a flash of jealousy.

‘Do you really think your daddy did it?’