“You’re ridiculous,” I mutter as I consider her point.

I’m not unaware of my distancing tendencies. But the part about attraction fading into friendship is a new concept I haven’t considered. Maybe that could work.

“I see the wheels turning in your head. I’ll leave you to it.”

She disappears, and I lie back down in my pile of notes, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on my ceiling.

Friends with Ben.

That’s what my original plan was. Then, my fluttering chest and heating panties got in the way. But those distractions could be temporary. I can tamp down those responses until they disappear. All it’ll take is a bit of self-control.

Question is, does Ben still want anything to do with me?

BEN

“If you keep up this moping bullshit, I’m gonna stick your head in a toilet, so you really have something to be upset about.” Jasper’s exasperated voice drags me out of my self-contemplation.

“Fuck you.” There’s no heat in my words.

“You’ve been staring at that piece of chicken for, like, five minutes. Just put it in your mouth and chew. Don’t tell me this girl has you so bent out of shape that you can’t eat.” He smirks at me before taking an exaggerated bite of his burger.

Normally, it’s the dialysis messing with my appetite. But missing my donor doesn’t seem to be helping.

Weeks. I haven’t seen her in weeks. Since before fall break.

She responds to my texts hours after I send them with one-worded answers or emojis. So, I’ve stopped texting her. Doesn’t mean I’ve stopped thinking about her.

What went wrong? After the bakery, I thought there was something happening between us. Now, I’m getting ghosted.

Just to get Jasper to stop harassing me, I shove the rest of my lunch down my throat, and we head out of the sandwich shop.

“I don’t get it. You hung out a couple of times. I mean sure, Holly is cool and definitely hot, but so are a lot of other girls. So what if she’s busy? Or not interested? It’s not the end of the world. Find someone else. And she’s still giving you her kidney!”

My roommate’s arguments grate on my nerves. Mainly because they’re rational.

Doesn’t change the fact that, when my mind wanders, it goes straight to her pink lips, laughing eyes, and gentle hands. From the way she touched me in the car, I would’ve sworn that I wasn’t the only one interested.

“I know it doesn’t make sense. But Holly’s different. I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“So you need—” He stops talking and walking at the same time, and I have to backtrack to keep from leaving him behind. Jasper stands, relaxed, on the sidewalk with a thoughtful expression.

“What’s up?”

I’m not worried about his weird pause. Jasper is prone to random redirections and topic changes.

“Maybe this’ll do the trick.” Jasper puts on his pleasant but distant face so fast that I know I’ve missed something important.