“I’m at Dr. Williams’s office. Do you remember where that is?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there in fifteen. Twenty at most.”

“Okay. Text me, and I’ll come out to your car. Thanks for doing this. I owe you.”

“Stop saying you owe me. If anyone is in debt, it’s me. See you in a few.”

He hangs up before I can think of a response.

I attempt to smooth out the shaking in my hands and fix the mess that is my hair. Sometimes, I tug at it to calm my nerves.

Almost exactly fifteen minutes after I called him, Ben texts me that he’s outside.

When the front glass doors slide open, he’s waiting with an umbrella. “Not sure if you brought one.”

“I could kiss you, Ben.”

He gives me a funny look, but I just latch on to his arm, so we can both stay dry. The doctor’s office has a small parking lot, so his car doesn’t have to loiter on the street. Without even reminding him, Ben opens the driver’s door for me before collapsing the umbrella and rushing to the passenger side.

When we’re both ensconced in the warm, dry car, I take a moment to appreciate the firm steering wheel gripped in my palms.

I’m driving the car. I’m in control.

“You okay?” he speaks carefully, and I hate it. I’m not made of glass.

“Yeah. It’s just …” I let out a heavy sigh because I know how ridiculous my explanation will sound. “The needles. They get to me.” My head falls back against the seat, and I do my slow-breathing exercises.

“Can I do anything?” He sounds lost.

“I don’t know. I guess, talk to me about something. Anything.” Simply being around him is helping. My pulse isn’t racing anymore, just taking an energetic jog.

“I blew up a toilet once.”

I choke on unexpected laughter.

“What?”

When I turn my head to glance at him, he’s nodding.

Ben is wearing his glasses again today. I like the way the wire rims frame his eyes. His hair is damp from the rain, which brings it to an almost auburn hue. He’s man-spreading in the passenger seat, taking up all the space available to him, and he’s shifted slightly to face me.

“My cousin snuck some firecrackers into school one day. He showed them to me in the restroom, and I decided it’d be cool to light one. When it started going off, I panicked. Threw it in the toilet.” He’s grinning at me as my mouth gapes open. “But it kept going. The whole toilet bowl cracked. Water was spraying everywhere. It was bad.”

Hilarity builds in my chest and busts out of me. “That’s idiotic!”

Ben’s chuckling right along with me. “I know. We were so stupid. They suspended us for a week. Lucky we didn’t get expelled.”

I cover my face as I snort. An image of a wide-eyed younger Ben next to a gushing toilet fills my mind, and it just sets me off more.