I don’t want him to go. He should though. I think I need him to.

“So, I guess I’ll see you around.”

A couple of people approach the bar with intent. A good reason to take my eyes off his. I put my glass down and move to help them.

“Holly.” Ben saying my name jerks my focus back to him. “Text me. If you want to hang out. Even if you just need a ride somewhere. Or, you know, a car to drive with a person in the passenger seat.”

His smile holds laughter, and there goes that darn clenching again.

“Will do, Ben. Have a good night.”

“You, too.” Then, he surprises me by scooping up the hand I left resting on the bar, bringing it to his lips, and giving my knuckles a light kiss. “See you soon.”

Then, he’s gone almost as fast as Sammy, and I’m left wondering why the guy I’m planning on giving my kidney to has such a strange effect on the rest of my body.

4

HOLLY

“You’re doing too much.”

I glance up from my textbook to the simmering soup on the stovetop. “No, I’m not. I’m just studying until it’s ready.”

Pops shakes his head at me as he leans on the doorframe between the kitchen and the front hallway. He’s still got on his uniform, the jumpsuit covered in grease stains from all the cars he’s been under during the day. Mondays are usually his long days, trying to catch up with the weekend drop-offs.

“That’s not what I meant. Well, yeah, it kinda is.” He lets out a deep sigh as he runs his hand over his face and sits at the kitchen table across from me. “You’ve got too much going on. School, your jobs, the clubs, and the kidney donation. Pile on top of that, you coming here, cooking for me? It’s too much, sweetie. You need to slow down.”

“I’m fine.” That comes out more defensive than I meant it to.

“Maybe right now. But this’ll wear you out fast.”

I breathe in deep through my nose, reminding myself that he’s just trying to take care of me. It’s been his job since I was ten, so it’s probably hard to let go. “Trust me, Pops; I’ve got it all under control. Look.” Reaching into my bag, I pull out my striped notebook, my day planner, and my monthly calendar. “See? I’ve already organized all my days. It’s all set.” My fingers run over the lovely color-coded schedules, and I find myself relaxing at the sight of the organization.

Pops pinches his bottom lip between his fingers as he scans everything. “And which of these colors is for fun?”

“Huh?” I turn the calendar toward me, not understanding what he means.

“Where’s your break? When do you relax? Spend time with your friends?”

He stares at me, eyes sad, and I shift in my seat.

“I see Terra every day.” I’m back to defensive.