To cover my fear, I paste on an overly enthusiastic grin.

“You bet I am.” I grab Ben’s hand and march us forward. “Let’s get you a kidney!”

BEN

After I’m prepped for surgery, I get to see Holly one last time.

They wheel my bed out into a wide hallway, arranging the foot of mine against hers, so we face each other. Like me, Holly has on a pale blue hospital gown and a surgical hat that looks like something you’d wear in the shower to keep your hair dry.

And there’s a needle in her arm.

“How are you doing?” My voice comes out strained.

She looks small, barely taking up any room on her bed.

Why haven’t I ever noticed how tiny she is before?

There’s no way her kidney can be big enough for me.

How can these idiot doctors think it’s okay to cut into such a delicate body?

“I’m good. Ready to go.”

“Even with the—”

She cuts me off with a firm shake of her head. “Let’s not talk about what might or might not be sticking in my arms right now.” I watch her breathe in deep and then slowly let the air out. “Besides, I’ve been practicing.”

“Practicing?”

“Yeah. I’ve been visualizing it happening. Working on meditating during it. Watched a bunch of YouTube videos just to get used to the sight of it in a neutral setting. Even practiced holding some needles that Dr. Williams gave me. It’s helped.” Her triumphant smile shines out, glorious in this depressing setting.

Still, this situation is freaking me out.

Like she can read my mind, Holly turns my question around on me. “What about you?”

Me?

I’m lucky they haven’t hooked me up to a heart rate monitor yet because that shit would be going haywire, screaming warning bells like there’s a fire. I’m ready to rip my IV out, followed by hers, throw her over my shoulder, and sprint out of this white-tiled nightmare.

But I shouldn’t tell her any of that. She needs me to be strong for her.

To tell her everything is going to be fine.

Right?

The second I open my mouth to give Holly some bullshit answer, I meet her soft brown eyes, wide open and honest. And I realize she’s not asking me to comfort her. She just wants to know the truth.

And I remember my promises—that I wouldn’t lie anymore, that I’d tell her everything.

Time to put up or shut up.

“I’m fucking terrified.” I cringe. “Sorry! I meant, flipping. I’m flipping terrified.”

Instead of glaring at me for my slip, an adorable smile wrinkles her nose. “Don’t apologize.” She bites her lip and then admits, “I’m flipping terrified, too.” Before I can tell her to back out then, she gets a determined expression on her face. “I have no control. That freaks me out. But I don’t need to control something for it to turn out all right. I can let go, and things will still be okay in the end.” Holly beams at me now, the sight so beautiful that I can barely think. “It’s just like one of your surprise adventures.”