If she were in the room with me, Terra would know instantly that something was wrong. She can read my face almost as well as my brother can. But, today, I can give her the vague truth without being interrogated.

“Not sure. I’m waiting to hear back from him.”

For a few minutes, Terra’s silliness distracts me from Ben’s silence, but the minute we hang up, I’m stuck on it again.

And kind of worried.

Could something have happened to him?

No, that can’t be it. Someone definitely would have called me. Jasper knows we’re dating, and Ben’s probably told his parents at this point, too. They’ve all got my number.

So, it’s got to be that he’s busy.

Or maybe his phone broke, and he’ll show up any minute, apologizing for leaving me hanging.

Or maybe he doesn’t want to see me.

Stop it. Don’t think like that.

But the insecurity weasels its way into my head.

I thought we were equally into each other. I thought he was as desperate to spend time with me as I was with him. The surety I have about our relationship, the understanding of how things stand, suddenly feels like trying to clutch a bar of wet soap as it slips out of my hands.

When did I give up all my control?

BEN

“Your temperature is down to normal, and all your vital signs have evened out since last night. We’d like you to stay for another hour, but as long as there are no changes, you’ll be free to go home.”

I shift uncomfortably in the hospital bed, wanting to leave now. But I’m not about to whine like a toddler, so I just give the doctor a nod.

“Thank you so much.”

My mother extends her hand, and the doctor shakes it with a distracted smile before heading out. Once patients are dealt with, he’s ready to move on. Efficient. I like that. It reminds me of Holly.

Hell, Holly.

I haven’t texted her since Thursday morning before I crashed in my bed and then woke up with my body on fire. I have no idea what she’s thinking. Hopefully, she’ll just write me off as being busy with finals. My phone is still back at the townhouse on my bed, so I can’t even check if she’s tried to get in contact. If the doctor’s timeline is right, I’ll be home before my normal Saturday dialysis treatment, so I can ask her to come over for that.

And I’ll just tell her …

Well, maybe she won’t ask.

More than anything, I want to keep this hospital visit off of Holly’s radar. That’s why I haven’t asked anyone else to text her. She doesn’t need to know about this. About how sick I am.

I hate the idea of Holly thinking of me as an invalid. She already gets a front-row seat to my treatments. No need for her to hear stories of my multiple hospital visits on top of that.