“Ben?”

“Uhhhng.”

“Did you bring your phone?”

“Here. I have her number.” Jasper is here.

I crack my eyes open and see them sitting in the front seat of my car, Jasper handing Sammy his phone.

For a moment, a slice of clarity cracks through my pain-addled brain.

“Don’t.” My hand weakly tries to bat at the phone being passed. “Don’t call Holly.”

Before my eyes close, Sammy turns to meet them with his own bewildered ones. “Why not?”

“Please. Don’t.”

Then, I pass out.

HOLLY

I check my phone again. A selfie of me kissing Ben’s cheek while he makes a goofy face at the camera stares up at me.

Just that, no texts or missed calls.

There’s an itch, not a real one, just one in my brain, demanding I call him again. But I fight it because two unanswered texts and one voice mail are plenty to let Ben know that I’ve been trying to get in touch with him.

Still, it’s weird. I haven’t heard from him in over a day.

Okay, now that I say that in my head, it sounds kind of needy, but ever since our trip to the cabin, there hasn’t been a day when Ben didn’t at least text me.

Should I be worried?

This week has been crazy though. Finals meant late-night study sessions and hours of writing papers. Even though I’m sure he would’ve liked to blow them off and put a larger dent in my box of condoms, Ben’s been good about respecting my full schedule. And, anyway, he’s had his own classes to worry about. Maybe he put things off till the last minute and has had to use every one of the last forty-eight hours to catch up.

I consider texting Jasper. I have his number from when we exchanged messages in the past about digital marketing.

But I hold off. The idea just seems too clingy.

What kind of relationship do we have if I start texting his friends to find out where he is?

So, it’s settled. I won’t text Jasper.

Today.

Even though the radio silence from Ben chafes, I’m still filled with a sense of freedom. My last test was an hour ago, and I don’t have to worry about school again until January. In just over a week, I’ll be giving Ben my kidney, but right now, I have no plans or obligations. I don’t even have to work at the bar tonight.

Taking advantage of this rare break in my normally hectic schedule, I brave the cold to stroll around the city. The chill in the air fogs my breath, but I’m toasty warm in my puffy winter coat. Deciding to treat myself, I stop in at my favorite bakery to buy an almond croissant and green tea. I’ve been rich in croissants lately. Ben always has one for me when I show up at his dialysis treatments. I think he sees them as a form of bribery, so I’ll keep coming.