‘I noticed.’

‘OK. But not the way I wanted you to notice, I suppose. Only at the time, obviously!’ I added, hastily.

‘Of course,’ he nodded.

‘Anyway, I think that was all part of being caught up in the fervour of teenage hormones. I never had a desire to be just another notch on your bedpost.’

‘I don’t think you could ever just be a notch on someone’s bedpost.’

‘Believe me, I could. Not that I realised that at the time.’

Jack’s face grew serious. ‘Then they were an idiot.’

I gave a small head tilt and grinned. ‘I agree. They were, but you don’t have to flatter me, you know. I’m not going to throw you out.’

He cleared his throat and pushed a hand back through his hair. ‘Best to be safe,’ he said, grinning.

‘I prefer honesty.’ I grinned back. ‘Don’t forget, I already know you. You don’t need to try and impress me. Anyway, what time is that documentary on?’

Jack glanced at his watch. ‘About five minutes.’

‘OK. You go and find it on the TV and I’ll make a cuppa. Tea or coffee?’

‘What are you having?’

‘Just answer the damn question, Jack.’

‘Coffee then, please. Thanks.’

‘OK, I’ll bring it through.’

10

That night, as I sat in bed, I reflected on what a pleasant evening it had been. Having my family’s company was one thing, but the evening spent with Jack had been different. There was conversation, silence at times too but it was an easy silence, with neither of us feeling a need to fill it. It had been a long time since I’d experienced that easy comfort, and the truth was I didn’t think I’d ever feel that way again. Perhaps subconsciously I’d told myself I should never feel that way again, and it was this thought that churned around in my stomach now. I liked Jack, but I wasn’t romantically inclined towards him. I appreciated that he had movie star looks and a body to die for, but it was like appreciating art for its beauty. It was easy to see the attraction, but I didn’t want it on my wall.

I’d told him I knew him, but it was clear from the last several weeks that Jack Coulsdon-Hart had changed, and those changes were definitely for the better. Perhaps, like he said, this had always been the true Jack. It’s just that before it was buried beneath expectations and bluster and the ability to have his pick of women without much thought. I suppose all of us had changed to a certain extent. Time does that to you. Circumstances do that to you. Though Jack seemed to have grown out of his experiences. I’m not sure I could say the same.

But I was happy where I was. I had my family, and my work, which I’d been lucky to have enough success with to enable me to buy a beautiful place to live. I missed Mike every day but there was nothing I could do to bring him back, and there were plenty of people in far worse positions than I was. I was grateful for all that I had. I would never stop thinking it had been unbearably cruel to have my husband snatched from me, but I was thankful for the time that we did have together. Nothing would ever dim those memories or that love. Jack might be right when he said the universe may provide you with more than one soulmate, but I wasn’t prepared to take the risk. I’d had my heart shattered once before and I wasn’t prepared to go through that again.