Gradually it had come back, that ability, especially once my niece and nephew arrived on the scene, but there was always a hint of guilt attached to it. But with the advent of Clive into my life, I’d begun to laugh more. His funny, sweet face with that dopey smile and always being so pleased to see me, even if I’d literally been out for twenty seconds dropping something in the compost bin, brought me such joy and release, it was like a dimmer switch had subtly been turned. And tonight, the switch was on full brightness and, for the first time since that awful night, I’d felt no guilt at all. Mike would be proud of me. That’s all I needed to think now. Mike wouldn’t have wanted me to shut myself away like I had. As much as he’d loved me, he’d want me to be happy, just as I would have, had the situation been reversed – a scenario I’d wished far more times than I could count. Tonight was a massive step but I’d had Jack by my side. I knew I wouldn’t be here right now if it hadn’t been for him. But I was determined to try harder to do things on my own too. For Mike. And for me.

‘You’re miles away,’ Jack said close to my ear when we were alone, the others having gone off to mingle and star spot.

‘I was just thinking about all the people I’m grateful to for helping me get here tonight, including you.’

‘You did this yourself, Lily. I certainly didn’t do very much at all, if anything.’

‘You agreed to come with me, despite being volunteered and therefore not exactly being given a lot of choice.’

‘A bit like you with having me stay at your place, then? So far, so even.’

I smiled up at him, accepting the comparison.

‘Admittedly, I wasn’t really thrilled at the prospect initially, but as it’s turned out, I’ve been glad.’

‘Really?’ A wide smile spread across Jack’s face.

‘Really,’ I confirmed. ‘Without you staying, I wouldn’t have felt so comfortable with you, and I know we’ve had our disagreements, but I’ve talked to you more than anybody in years. Between you and Clive, I’ve begun to see what I was missing.’

‘I’m glad. I know none of this has been easy for you, and I know it’s not a quick fix. I don’t expect you to be flashing a chock-full social diary by tomorrow night, but you’re taking steps, and that’s what matters. You have too much to offer the world to hide from it.’

‘Thank you,’ I said, not sure what else to say, but deciding that that was probably enough.

‘I’m surprised you haven’t asked me if I enjoyed the film.’

‘I know. Part of me wants to and part of me doesn’t want to know in case you didn’t like it but would then feel you have to say you liked it for fear of upsetting me.’