“Are you really comparing delts to eyeballs? Be honest, do you actually know what delts are?”
“This is a ridiculous conversation,” she sniffed.
“So no, then,” he said, and she grinned, and God, he’d talk about literally anything if it made her smile like that. He was about to say as much when the door at the very far end of the hall slammed open, and Ms Tricia appeared in the doorway looking like the terrorised heroine of a vintage horror film.
Her brown skin had taken on a greyish tinge, her mouth was a perfect O, and her hands were panicked claws wrapped around a half-price Ted Baker gift set. “Gravy!” she wailed.
Abbie blinked over at her. “Er … don’t worry, Grandma. We got a ton of cornflour when you sent us to—”
“No! Gravy!” Ms Tricia dropped the gift set and rushed down the hall, sweeping past them both. “I just saw her through the window! She’s out in the blizzard! At the edge of the woods! How did she get out? William, get some clothes on. Jason!” she hollered as she all but sprinted down the stairs. “Jason, Gravy has escaped!”
Will stared after her. “Shit.”
Then Abbie said, clearly confused, “The blizzard?”
Eight
Yes, as it turned out: the blizzard.
Will threw on some clothes and came downstairs in time to meet Jase at the door. He looked like someone had dumped icing sugar over his head, then stuck him in a freezer. Icy winds howled through the open door behind him, and Will squinted out in shock at the snowstorm that had, apparently, popped into existence while he was busy wondering if Abbie preferred men who shaved their chests. (He was glad he’d left the situation alone, after her stare-a-thon out in the hallway.)
“I couldn’t see her,” Jase said as he slammed the door shut.
“What?” Ms Tricia squawked. “That creature is pregnant as hell. I don’t know what she thinks she’s doing, going out in this!”
“Don’t worry, Grandma.” Abbie rubbed soothing circles over Ms Tricia’s back. “We’ll find her. We’ll all go out and search.”
“Good. Let’s split into pairs and look for her.”
Jase and Abbie exchanged significant glances. “Erm,” Jase said, “maybe you could wait here in case she comes back?”
Ms Tricia speared him with a glare. “Shut up, boy. Fetch my boots. You can pair with me.”