“Absolutely nothing,” she said firmly. “I’m not trying to belittle your feelings, Will, but”—I’m desperate—“don’t you think a friendship as old as ours should be protected from … heterosexual compulsions?”

He laughed, a low, comforting chuckle. “I love the way you talk.”

“Be serious.” Please. I’m not what you think I am. Abbie knew very well that she came off as cold, but the truth was she had always been on fire and would do anything to hide it. Releasing a little more warmth was a personal goal of hers these days, but if she went too far, she’d burn her own knickers off, and then where would she be? Knickerless in an Asda car park, that’s where. So she stayed strong.

Will sobered a little, because he always listened to her when it mattered. “Abbie, come on. The way I feel isn’t … whatever you just said. I’ve—” He hesitated, which was unusual for him. There was something like determination in his voice when he continued, “I’ve been thinking about this for a while.”

A while. But probably not twenty years. “This is the first time we’ve seen each other in forever.”

“I know,” Will said quietly. He didn’t add, When has time ever mattered between us? because they both knew it never seemed to.

“I was married before that.”

His gaze dropped to her mouth. “I know,” he said, and she felt a familiar pit of guilt settle at the bottom of her stomach.

“And you’ve … you’ve never been attracted to me before,” she said, which was a lot easier to force out than some of the questions swirling in her mind. Questions like How long is a while? and How exactly do you feel? Questions that would show how much she gave a shit, that would leave her vulnerable, out on a ledge, revealed to him in a way she didn’t think she could bear.

Careful, careful, careful. She had to be careful. She knew very well how deep vulnerability could cut when it was thrown back in her face.

“How do you know?” he asked, his voice like midnight embers.

“Know…?” Her trains of thought were more like silk threads right now, slipping through her fingers.

“That I’ve never been attracted to you before? You’re very attractive, Abbie.”

“Well—” She swallowed. “Yes, I realise that.” She wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but she liked the way she looked, and plenty of other people did too. “We are both decent looking, and you enjoy women, and I enjoy men, and so it’s not surprising that this might happen, but in terms of actually being specifically attracted to me, it seems unlikely. Whereas you being generally attracted and currently horny is more—”