I threw my hands up. ‘Why are you doing this, Jason? What exactly do you think the point of this is? Other than to anger, irritate and hurt me?’

‘I care about you,’ he said, emotion evident in his voice for the first time that evening. ‘In my own twisted, unhealthy, desperately sad kind of way, I actually love you.’

Not trusting myself to speak, I simply shook my head.

He heaved a sigh and, when he spoke again, his tone was even once more. ‘I’m sorry. Forget I said that. That’s not why I’m here. I’m here because I need you to know what she is. She genuinely believes that you and she have a wonderful friendship, and that you are some sort of affable ingénue who needs her protection. But there’s also a rivalry there, a jealousy of what you are – of whatever you have and she hasn’t. I don’t know whether you see that now, but you certainly didn’t see it when we were together.’

He took another swig of lager, appearing suddenly exhausted. ‘I don’t know whether she plans to tell you she’s had contact with me,’ he continued more calmly, ‘but I wanted to tell you the truth before she spins it into something it wasn’t and isn’t. She doesn’t take rejection well and in trying to hurt me, I have no idea whether she’ll hurt you too – even if she doesn’t mean to.’

As he finished his speech, his voice broke and it was a moment or two before he spoke again.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘but everything I’ve told you is the truth. I hope you believe me.’

‘Believe you?’ I stared at the table and took a deep breath, attempting to compose myself. ‘You mean like I believed you every time you told me that your train/plane/taxi had been delayed?’ I began quietly. ‘Or when you told me that you were working late? Or that the conference had been extended by another day?’

Still not looking at him, I reached down for my bag before standing up and snatching my coat from the back of my chair. ‘I don’t believe any of it, Jason,’ I said, walking towards the door and not looking back.

I exited the bar, throwing on my coat as I headed for home. Tonight, I decided, I would definitely walk all the way. Then maybe by the time I got there I would feel less desolate, less desperate and less village-idiot-stupid than I did right now. Because no matter what I’d told Jason, the truth was that at that moment I did believe him. I believed every single word.

Chapter 18