Giles appeared confused and hesitated briefly before his expression cleared. ‘Oh, I see. Cameron,’ he said, smiling faintly, enjoying the fleeting pleasure of understanding the abbreviated name, before his smile faded and he returned to the sad matter in hand. ‘And you’re absolutely sure that he’s the one, Edie?’ he asked.

‘Well, of course I bloody am!’ I exclaimed. ‘It’s not like I’m picking him out of a police line-up, is it, Giles? I see him every day: Monday to Friday.’

‘Look, this situation isn’t great for any of us,’ began Cameron calmly.

‘Oh, you shut up,’ I exploded, at last turning to face him and discovering, to my surprise, that his expression was more injured puppy than angry Rottweiler. I had to hand it to him – he was playing this brilliantly. The man was pure, evil genius.

‘Look at you, standing there, the dignified victim,’ I said scornfully, looking him up and down. ‘Well, let me tell you, Ron, that act of yours may go down a treat with Kerry and all your other lady friends, but it doesn’t work with me! I know what you are and what you’ve done. I,’ I concluded dramatically, tapping my chest, ‘know everything.’

‘Come on then,’ said Kerry. ‘Spit it out. What do you know?’

I whirled round to face her. ‘He’s a—’

‘No more, Edie,’ said Giles firmly.

‘Why shouldn’t she know? Maybe everyone should know.’ I looked up at Giles defiantly, but even when enraged and intoxicated, I trusted his judgement. ‘It’s not OK, Giles,’ I said. It was a final, barely audible, verbal stamp of my foot.

‘What’s she talking about, Ron?’ asked Kerry.

‘I don’t know, but we need to leave,’ he said, taking her arm and turning away. ‘Now.’

‘Oh, but you can’t leave just yet,’ said June, smiling and placing a hand on his arm, as she walked past us with a bottle of white wine.

He looked down at her. ‘I’m afraid—’

‘Quiet, everyone, please!’ The words reached us, at shocking volume, from the other end of the room, where Bill was now addressing the crowd through a wholly unnecessary microphone and speaker combo, the intermittent feedback from which was excruciating. ‘Quiet, please,’ he repeated, despite the fact that the entire room had been traumatised into complete silence several seconds earlier.

Cameron again moved towards the door but June was adamant. ‘No, no,’ she laughed, pulling him back. ‘You sit tight, just for two more minutes. Please, dear.’

He looked, to my satisfaction, supremely uncomfortable and embarrassed, but he submitted to her request, returning to his spot beside Giles. Kerry moved to be at his side and, as they turned away from us and towards Bill, she placed a hand around his waist and hugged him to her. I watched, my anger towards him and my enormous pity for her, increasing, as he put a reciprocal arm around her shoulders.