‘Don’t be so silly. That’s not an issue for any of us,’ I tutted. ‘We just want someone there who’ll slap you down when you get a bit much.’

He grinned. ‘OK, and—’ he began, but was at that point interrupted by Alison, as she stood up and tapped lightly on her glass with a pen.

‘Oh no,’ groaned Roger. ‘I thought we agreed no speeches.’

‘We agreed to save the presentation of your gifts until tomorrow evening,’ said Alison stiffly. ‘That was all we agreed.’

He heaved a sigh and folded his arms. ‘Go on then,’ he said with a relaxed informality attributable, I assumed, to imminent retirement and a tiny bit of booze.

‘Why, thank you, Roger,’ she said, coming as close to sarcasm as I’d ever heard.

I glanced at Cameron and frowned, just as he half-turned towards me and did the same. A quick check of Luke showed him to be looking just as entertained by the people he worked with as usual.

Alison downed her remaining half-glass of champagne in one and placed the flute down heavily on the conference table, causing me to look again at Cameron, whilst feeling increasingly uneasy. He was now staring fixedly at Alison, his expression one of determined implacability.

‘Roger,’ she said, clasping her hands in front of her.

‘Yes, that’s me,’ he grunted.

‘What can I say about you?’

‘Nothing, preferably.’

Luke grinned and shook his head. ‘Just brilliant,’ he murmured.

I smiled anxiously and shifted in my chair, wondering if necking my champagne might make me feel any less awkward.

‘Roger,’ repeated Alison, throwing her head back and addressing the large, white, circular ceiling light directly above her head. ‘My co-worker, my friend…’ She slowly lowered her eyes to look directly into his, as my palms began to sweat.

‘…my soul mate,’ she said quietly.

‘What?!’ I exclaimed, causing all heads to turn towards me. I looked to Cameron, Roger and Luke for some sense of shared amazement, but Luke was quite obviously on the verge of laughter, while Roger looked like he was sitting on a hedgehog and Cameron remained wholly impassive, offering me only a barely perceptible shake of the head.

I looked at Alison. ‘What… what a very lovely speech,’ I said, somewhat breathlessly, placing my glass on the table and clapping. ‘Lovely. Very heartfelt.’

‘I’m not sure it’s quite over yet,’ said Luke.

‘Oh, really?’ I smiled as broadly as I could. ‘I’m so sorry, Alison. Do carry on.’ I picked up my glass and drained its contents.

She offered me a nod and returned her attention to Roger. ‘You will be missed,’ she said and then sat down.

‘OK, so now you can clap,’ murmured Luke. ‘Oh no, my mistake,’ he added, as Roger stood up and cleared his throat.