I gasped and put a hand to my mouth as the pieces fell into place. ‘You fancy her!’

‘It all seems so ridiculously complicated, Edie.’ He lowered his head and ran a hand through his newly-cropped hair. ‘One moment, someone is the friend they have always been; the friend one has known for… well, years in our case. And then the next moment, one is hit by the realisation that they are something more to you.’

He turned towards me, with apparent reluctance, as if afraid of what my reaction might be. ‘I know I’m behaving like an adolescent. But I do feel that matters have come to somewhat of a head.’

‘I’m just so sorry I didn’t realise, Giles,’ I said gently. ‘But look, why don’t you text her later today, go for a drink and talk it all through?’

‘Good God, I can’t do that!’ he exclaimed, clearly appalled at the idea.

‘Why not?’ I asked, frowning and picking up my tea.

‘Because we are next-door neighbours and she has given no indication of being even remotely attracted to me. Additionally, she is in a relationship with Ronald.’

I took a deep breath. ‘So firstly, his name is Cameron, Giles,’ I began, my tone patient and controlled. ‘Or Ron, or Cam, if you prefer. But not Ronald. And secondly, if there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s the importance of getting your facts straight. In this case, you do not know how Kerry feels about you, and you also know next to nothing about her relationship with Cameron. I mean, are they even a couple?’

‘They spend much of their time together and have an exceptionally strong bond, as you yourself have pointed out.’

‘OK, but so do we,’ I pointed out. ‘And when I asked Kerry what Cameron was up to last night, she said she didn’t have a clue. That doesn’t sound like the response of someone in a committed relationship, does it?’

He shrugged.

‘Well, it doesn’t to me,’ I said emphatically. ‘So stop being pathetic and moping over your muesli and go and find out the lie of the land. And can I just ask,’ I added, placing my mug down heavily on the breakfast bar, ‘whether you are always this traumatised when you realise you fancy someone?’

‘I assure you, Edie,’ he sighed, shaking his head, ‘that I have never felt like this before. I have no concentration; I am dithering over basic decisions and I am having difficulty sleeping. In addition, I realise that I have changed my hair, my attire and my physique for Kerry.’

‘Like Sandy, in Grease.’

He squinted, as if trying to compute. ‘Er…’

‘What I mean is, you fancy her and you want to please her. That’s wonderful, Giles – and also a tiny bit needy and lacking in self-respect, admittedly – but mostly wonderful,’ I smiled.