It’s not that she wanted to be with him more than she wanted to be with Adrian; it’s just that they had a connection that was hard to ignore. Dean and Adrian were so different and yet she’d loved them both. They both made her feel like a completely different person when she was with them. Adrian made her feel normal and quieted the storm inside her. He was a calming person, because he was so totally at ease with himself, which somehow transferred to her.

Then there was Dean, who was the complete opposite. He’d made her buzz with confusion, but there was something about his survival instinct that made her feel completely safe, as though he could protect her from anything. He could take the world on so she wouldn’t have to. Those feelings Dean gave her were nice to begin with but exhausting after a while. She entirely preferred the feeling she had when she was with Adrian.

The overpowering smell of bleach forced her to pull away from the floor. She raised her arm and covered her mouth for a moment, breathless, her eyes stinging from the fumes. She should open the window.

Why was she even thinking about Dean? He hadn’t contacted her and she knew he wouldn’t unless she asked him to first. The only thing that had changed with their circumstances was that she had Adrian now and that was an added reason to keep Dean at a distance. She knew that Adrian had his insecurities about Dean and maybe he was right. But she did find her mind drifting to what could have been every now and again. Not that she wanted it, but every relationship she managed to get into was fraught with complications that were insurmountable without some kind of life change.

This wasn’t about Dean, though; she wanted to speak to Adrian. The idea that she had upset him made her feel uneasy; she didn’t want to be the source of his pain. Not to mention the fact that it was probable that right now he was on some kind of bender, where more than likely he was talking his way into a punch in the face. It was a habit of Adrian’s that Imogen couldn’t get her head around. A throwback to his teens, from what she could ascertain, more than likely to do with the fact that he had felt a sense of achievement when he managed to goad his father away from hurting his mother and hitting him instead.

She felt like such a bitch for not being able to understand the draw the Corrigan investigation had for him. Besides which, that wasn’t her job. Her job was to make sure the bad guys went to prison.