I hear Adrian Miles before I see him enter the room. He is trying to talk me into giving the gun up, but I won’t; R doesn’t get to walk away this time. I see that strange look of satisfaction on R’s face when Adrian arrives; he says things that I know are secret codes. He gets that same look on his face when he says things to me in front of his men, things that only I understand, things that no one else would see as particularly upsetting or threatening. That’s because we share those secrets. I can see he has a secret like that with Adrian Miles and I wonder what it is. I am more resolute than ever to put an end to this vile man.

Patricide, that’s what they call it. When I go to prison, I will be the girl who killed her father and people will want to know why. I watch Adrian’s face as he speaks, another good man my father has hurt. It will never end unless I end it.

Adrian asks me who the body belongs to in the house and I can’t even bring myself to think it, let alone say it. My father speaks first and my finger presses down on the trigger. I see the red erupt from his arm as he falls to the ground. I don’t want it to be over too quickly. I will only get to kill him once.

DS Grey rushes into the room and immediately searches for her partner. I see she is worried that I have hurt him. She cares for him, I can see that. My mind starts racing and I try to remember my mother; I was angry and upset with her, so I put her out of my mind. I feel guilty for not knowing the truth, not realising what a psychopath he was. Would I have been able to get away sooner if I had? Probably not – just another layer of misery to add to my already miserable life. I am past caring about going to prison. My only goal now is to make sure he dies before I leave this room.

Both of the detectives talk to me, asking me questions I don’t have the answers to. I see the look of disgust and pity on their faces as the whisper of the idea forms in their mind. I suspect there are other police coming to this location. I don’t have much time if I want to make sure he is gone. They are going to try to stop me and I can’t let them. I have to focus and stop thinking about my mother, about Simon, about how I ended up in the river.