‘Don’t!’ Adrian’s eyes filled again. ‘I don’t even know.’

‘You should speak to someone, Adrian. You’ve been through a serious trauma. If you can’t face seeing a counsellor, then maybe a friend. If you are religious, then you could go and speak to someone at the church. Have you experienced any symptoms of PTSD?’

‘I don’t know what I’m experiencing. I can’t think straight.’ He wiped his face with his sleeve.

She handed him a box of tissues from her desk.

‘Difficulty sleeping? Nightmares? Are you more irritable than normal? Are you emotionally numb to situations or people? Are you avoiding things so you don’t get upset? Are you more aware of your surroundings? Are you afraid?’

‘All of that, yes.’

‘Do you find yourself reliving the attack, or reminded of it constantly? Are you blaming yourself? Are you struggling to remember details of the attack? Are you full of negativity towards yourself and others? Is your concentration off?’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘What do I do? What’s the treatment for that?’

She searched on her desk and found a business card then handed it to him. She sat down and logged into her computer. Then she found his records and typed up a few notes before writing him a prescription. The printer came to life.

‘Well, there is no pill for it. It’s possible that it will go away on its own; sometimes it does. What I think we should do for now is keep an eye on you. We call it watchful waiting. After a month, if it’s still as persistent as it is now, then we can move forwards with treatment.’

‘What if it doesn’t go away?’

‘Then you will need a mixture of medication and psychotherapy. I’m not going to lie to you, Adrian. You’ve got a long road ahead of you. It’s really important that you try to trust the people around you to help you through it. Don’t push people away; it will only make it worse.’

‘I don’t feel like I have any control over what I do at the moment. My actions and reactions are beyond me … if that makes any sense.’

‘Do you know who your attacker was?’

‘I have no idea.’ He shook his head.

Dr Hadley hesitated. ‘I’d like you to consider having an HIV test.’

‘What? No.’

Adrian hadn’t even thought of that. Another thing to add to the ever-increasing mound of shit his life was becoming.

‘If you are concerned about anonymity then you can go to the GUM clinic on Sidwell Street and get tested there. It’s a walk-in clinic, so you could go straight from here.’

‘I don’t want an HIV test on my medical record.’