I shook my head and took a deep breath, preparing to say out loud something I hadn’t truly accepted inside. “I want someone who loves me. I want someone who I love. And it’s ridiculous that I’m even thinking of such a thing considering the circumstances. Have I really been in this life so long that I am immune to the insanity of it?” I asked.

“Maybe you recognize that insanity is a feature of life, but some people are worth it,” she said.

I tilted my head, studying her.

“Even if I believe that, and I’m not saying that I do, but even if I did, would binding myself to a man for protection be worth all that I would give up?”

“I don’t want to speak out of turn, but I get the sense that Elias really does care for you,” she said.

“What gives you that sense? The way he bosses me around and critiques everything I do?”

“No. It’s the way he tries so hard to pretend that he’s completely unaffected by you. But he’s not. No matter what’s happening, if you’re in a room, he knows it, and he’s keeping track. I don’t even think he knows he does it, and I’m certainly not going to tell him.”

“It’s probably just him making sure I’m not screwing something up or looking for an excuse to come at me about something.”

“Could be, but I guess what it is doesn’t really matter.”

I sighed again.

“So, that’s the problem. The conundrum. One that I don’t even really have words for,” I said.

She looked at me sympathetically.

“It’s tough, but I know Elias has your best interests at heart, and you’ll work it out.”

She looked so sure, so certain, that I wanted to believe her.

I didn’t.

Ten

TEN

Kayla

My talk with Amy had been nice, but two days later, I was still at loose ends and not at all sure what to do.

I hadn’t seen Elias but felt his presence every single moment.

So much so that I knew I needed to clear my head and try to make sense of this situation.

Which was why I needed to get out of this apartment.

I decided to go for a walk and was surprised when I stepped outside and found Narek was waiting at the elevator doors.

“You headed somewhere, Kayla?” he asked.

“Why?” I responded, confused.

Narek had never asked questions like this before, and instead of answering, he just smiled.

“Oh, this is Elias’s doing?” I said.

His smile deepened.

I shook my head. “I’m just going to the gym,” I said.

Narek nodded and then got back on the elevator.

I waited until the doors closed and then headed for the stairs.