He clears his throat and lurches to his feet. “Well, you’re in the right place, T,” he says, walking toward the teddy bear cabinet. “I had them stock this room with the new Oscar noms that are still in thea—”

“Ted,” I interrupt.

He glances at me from the cabinet, his eyes wary. Afraid of me, of my feelings. “Yeah?”

I love him—and it comforted me, his Peter Pan–ishness—but seeing him burst into tears last night made me … see.

Sometimes you love someone so much that you ignore the fact they’re stunted. Desperately making up for a weakness, a lack.

“Can we just talk?” I ask.

“Of course.” He pastes a smile on his face, settles next to me. “Did you have anything else you wanted to ask me? My wish is your command, T.”

“Do you think all the stuff about Mama’s family owning a deli in New Jersey is true?”

“My team is tracking down the details as we speak,” he replies, a robotic precision to his words.

And I pity my uncle, because I see how much it hurts him to dive beneath the surface. I see the defense mechanisms he’s created.

The loving, naive, comfortably blind piece of me wants to tell him his pain is so familiar; it wants to comfort him like Noni has comforted me.

But he’s a grown man.

How fucking vapid do you think I am?

“It’s weird that you have this whole team to do this stuff and you didn’t know her real family until now,” I reply sharply. “I really can’t believe it. You were so close.”

Deep hurt blazes in his eyes for one second—if I’d blinked, I would have missed it—and that’s when I know. I know he loved Mama in a way that wasn’t entirely right. I think of Dad, alone in his bed. I think of Mama, flitting between the city and the country. I think of Teddy, and his possessive mentions of Mama. I think of his solitude.

I don’t know what I think.

“Aw, Tai.” He reaches for my long, loose hair, my protection, and stops midway. “I told you she didn’t want me to meddle. I refused to defy her. She was like a mother to me. A best friend.”

Those same words. You’re lying. Why are you lying? I want Nons to be here and say it. I want Nons to shout it. You think I’m so fucking naive. But I feel this billowing hurt wrapping me up tight and keeping me silent.