Chapter 32

By the time I finally force myself to leave the house, of course I’m late to Harrington Country Club. Most of the wedding guests are already seated by the time I walk through the doors of the chapel, but I stop in the entrance, my jaw dropping. I’m struck, taken aback by the sheer beauty inside. A string quartet is playing classical covers of popular music from the front corner, the perfume from the floral arrangements hangs low in the air, and candlelight casts a soft glow throughout. And then, suddenly, my eyes find Nash standing up ahead, and I’m rendered breathless feeling something tighten in my chest, something I hadn’t been prepared to feel.

He’s dressed in a black tuxedo made to fit his body, and my eyes widen as I take him in from head to toe, and again my heart begins to stammer relentlessly in my chest. As if on cue, he turns his head, and our eyes meet, and a moment passes between us. His face is indifferent, impassive, and something flashes in his blue eyes. And in that split second, I’m not sure whether I’ve made the right decision in coming. Maybe he doesn’t want me here. Maybe Anna was wrong. Maybe he really does hate me, and will hate me forever. Maybe I’ve lost him for good.

But, just as I begin to get carried away with my own thoughts of doubt, I spot the slightest hint of a smile sparkle in those blue eyes, and I release the breath I’d been holding as I watch him suddenly come to, snapping into gear before hurrying down the aisle toward me so fast he’s almost running. He stops right in front of me, looking me up and down before studying my face, his eyes flitting between mine. “You came,” he says through a trembling breath, as if he can’t quite believe I’m standing right in front of him.

Tears prick my eyes, but I manage a smile, nodding.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, shaking his head before moving in and wrapping his arms around me. And I’m fully aware as almost every person in the chapel turns their head in our direction, all eyes watching our exchange, but I lose myself within his embrace, burying my face into the crook of his neck and smiling through the tears threatening my composure.

“I never want to lose you, Murph,” he says so softly, so gently, so tentatively.

I pull back just enough to look into his eyes, and I can see he’s trying to contain his own emotion, tears catching the light as he sniffles quietly. I shake my head, offering him a knowing look before leaning in and whispering, “Forever and always.”

Nash’s shoulders seem to sag at my words and I know he’s remembering the night we spent together when we were only 14 years old. Taking my hand in his, he leads me up the aisle, and I try my best to ignore the curious glances and the hushed whispers coming from the crowded rows on either side. I try to ignore the thoughts running through my head, that this could have been us. We could have been walking down this very aisle together as husband and wife. But none of those could’ve beens matter anymore because I know no matter what, Nash will always be a part of my life in one way or another. Stopping at the end of the aisle, Nash directs me to sit right beside his grandmother before hesitating momentarily, looking down at me with a look of apprehension in his eyes.