“What is it?” I encourage him.

“It’s just being back here. In this place.” He shakes his head, hunched over, his elbows resting upon his knees as he looks down at his glass. “There’s something about this damn place. I hate it so much because it reminds me of all the bad, but …” He stops, finally looking up at me, his bottom lip clamped between his teeth, and there’s something in his eyes, something in the way that he’s looking at me.

“B-but what?” I ask so quietly my voice is almost swept away in the soft evening breeze.

“This place has a hold on me.” He sighs heavily, breaking our heavy gaze and looking back out over the view before us. “Being here, it’s as if I’m right back where I was, before New York, before college, before Anna.” His eyes flit to mine at the mention of her, and I press my lips together, because I think I know what he’s saying. “As much as I hate this place, I miss it like crazy when I’m back.”

I swallow hard, looking down at my own glass.

“I guess I just didn’t know how it would feel having my new life and my old life collide like this. Having Anna here, in my home, where so much happened that she’ll never even begin to understand. Coming back to you and Harley suddenly together. Everything’s changed, and … I don’t know. It’s just giving me all these confusing feelings.”

I look at him. Really look at him. I notice just how torn he really does look, and, for the first time, I think I understand why, because I feel the same way. “A lot has changed, Nash,” I say. “And, I get it. You went away, and your whole life is different, now. Hell, you’ve changed, whether you want to admit it or not. And, you expected to come back to the same old place, but—” I shrug. “It’s not the same old place. Sure, the streets might look the same, but while you’ve been away, we’ve all changed. Harley has the bar. I’m running Momma’s bakery. I’ve given up a hell of a lot, staying here, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

I nod, and as I’m saying the words, it’s as if I’m just realizing how much I truly do love my life here. Sure, I could’ve gone back to New York after Momma passed. And I could have lived the life I’d always dreamed of: college and then some big, fancy job in the city. But I’m here now, and I’ve made this life for myself that might not be big-city glamorous, but it’s mine, and I’m happy here, even without Nash.

“That’s the problem.” He laughs to himself, but his laugh is derisive. “I don’t know if I like all these changes. I miss the old days …” He flashes me a guilty look, and I suddenly feel very awkward as the air between us shifts, the meaning behind his words not so hidden. “Can I ask you a question?”