‘No, I mean . . . Jesus, can you just lay off a bit?’

‘Sorry. Okay. I’m sorry. We’re totally going down the wrong path here. A bad trip. I’m backing up, okay, see?’ He held his hands up in mock surrender.

‘I can’t tell when you’re joking.’

‘Yeah, that’s my special gift. But I’m not joking now, not joking anymore, promise. Truce?’

‘Okay.’

We shook on it.

‘So my mum said you wanted to study medicine?’ he said. ‘Like, she said you really want to study it. “Determined,” she said.’

I pressed my fingers to my head with the change of subject. Because it wasn’t a change of subject at all, not really, not for me. ‘Yep,’ I said.

‘I think Mum wishes I was a bit more determined. You know, you’re really lucky you know what you want.’

That surprised me. That was a new idea, that I was lucky, not just inadequate, or setting myself up to fail. ‘I guess I never really thought about it like that . . .’

‘I think Mum wanted to study medicine post-grad.’

‘Did she?’

‘Yeah, she was so smart at school and in science at uni – but then, I don’t know, shit happened, I think. Me, among other things.’

This was all too close. ‘Um. Well. That’s sad for her.’

‘Yeah, I dunno. Some issues with my dad too. But she loves nursing. I don’t think she regrets it at all really. I hope she doesn’t. She got me instead. So, you know, she’s got to be happy with that.’ Basil flipped his hair with a sudden flourish. ‘I’m going to be an actor I think. But I don’t know, it seems really hard to get into . . .’

I nodded. But I’d stopped listening. ‘Well, Basil,’ I said, ‘it’s been nice chatting but I have to go and study.’ The panic was starting to worm its way out of me, against my best efforts. ‘I really have to go,’ I said again. But I didn’t move from my place near the top of the cairn. ‘I’m already falling so far behind by even coming here.’

Basil didn’t move either. He put his head on the side, again like a dog, like he was listening for something outside of normal hearing. ‘So, I know it’s your own secret trouble-in-paradise tale,’ he said. ‘And don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here and I get to meet you and everything, but I do think it was probably the dumbest place on the planet to go if you need to do some serious study to get into medicine. That house will be impossible to get anything done in. How loud does that old man play the television?’

‘I know!’ I suddenly laughed out loud at the memory of Hessel’s news channel the night before, and then I stopped laughing. ‘I don’t know what to do. I have to study. I’m wasting so much time.’

‘Yeah, and there’s not really anywhere else here. The shed’s all full of horse and the house is so tiny.’