I breathed the cold air as it passed my face and tossed my hair across my eyes. Basil pulled his leather jacket closer around his body and swivelled himself around so he was looking out from the other side of the cairn. I pulled up the website of the Best Western on my phone and checked the tariffs and breathed out sharply. Too much. It was just too much.

‘Can you see that gully over there?’ Basil asked suddenly.

When I turned I saw he was pointing out across the plain, away from the domestic decrepitude behind us. I looked, but saw nothing but cleared land as far as the eye could see. Some straight lines of trees along fence lines, a shorter line of meandering trees in the distance.

‘Um, no?’ I said.

He looked hard at my face, assessing, and then gave a little nod. ‘No matter,’ he said.

I looked down at my phone, wondering what to do with it next.

‘Reception?’ Basil said.

‘Tiny bit, in and out.’

There were no easy words to make Nassim understand, no right words. I needed to explain properly – I owed him that. But I couldn’t do that here, now, not with Basil hanging over my shoulder. But I couldn’t keep failing to respond, either. I’d have to send a holding message, just until I figured out how to tell him that I couldn’t continue. To tell him properly. To make him feel okay about it. That was going to take effort, and thought. I typed.

Sorry for radio silence, I’m in deep study. I paused a moment. Was this really what I was doing? Another lie? But I couldn’t see another way right then. I sent it.

The phone pinged instantly. He must have been waiting. Talk now? he wrote.

Um. Not really a good time, unforch. Coward. Coward, coward, coward. And bitch.

Nassim’s response came in swiftly. Okay. Miss you though. You such a swot. I’ll try again later.:) xxx ♥♥♥

Basil giggled with glee. ‘Poor guy,’ he said. He was reading over my shoulder.

I locked my phone screen. ‘Don’t you have school or something?’

Basil sat back quickly. ‘Hey, don’t be like that. Don’t be mad.’

‘This is private, mate.’

‘Okay, okay,’ said Basil, backing off. ‘I didn’t know, okay? I was just messing around.’

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘Sorry, I’m just . . .’ But I didn’t know what I was just.

‘Hey,’ said Basil. ‘How lucky are we? It’s school holidays and we get to hang out.’

‘Yeah, I don’t really have time for that. And I’m probably going again soon.’

Basil looked annoyed. ‘Sorry, Your Maj, I’ll be sure not to bother you again.’ He stood, as if to climb back down the cairn.

‘No, wait,’ I said. ‘I’m being rude. I’ve just – I’m just dealing with some stuff, that’s all.’

‘Well, aren’t we all?’

‘No, I mean, I’ve got some real stuff going on right now.’

‘Oh I see, real stuff, not like all that fake stuff the rest of us deal with all the time.’