But my habits were turned upside down the moment I turned my car onto the gravel pathway leading to a charming Christmas tree farm. Maybe even before then. Maybe my routine was actually jeopardized that summer night I walked into a bar I’d never been to and met a stranger who seemed to already know me despite us never having met.

And now that I’ve been surrounded by people almost nonstop for weeks on end, I don’t quite enjoy my solitude the way I previously did. I miss Martina’s loud laugh and Callie’s eye rolls at Aaron and Dennis’s warm looks. Of course, I don’t miss any of that as much as I miss having Aaron by my side.

Selina lifts a brow.

I wince. “I’m sorry, but I have to go feed my dogs.” Not a lie, but also a very obvious excuse. That’s a good thing, though. I’ve tried being social. I made connections, and it’s only brought me pain, just as it did for everyone who got in my path. I’ve always seen myself as a ticking time bomb, but apparently I didn’t need to get sick to explode.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” I say. “Thanks for thinking of me, though.”

“All right. See you tomorrow, then,” she says before turning around. At the end of the hallway, I spot Jenny, the receptionist, and Sabrina, our paralegal, waiting for my boss with big smiles on their faces.

I wouldn’t have fit anyway.

The idea of going out for a drink wasn’t a bad one, though. While I usually stay away from alcohol, I wouldn’t say no to it tonight. Just to help me numb it all for a few hours. It’s obviously not a healthy coping mechanism, but being healthy is the last thing on my mind right now.

I leave the office and get into my car. The drive home is filled with loud music; I’m hoping it’ll drown my thoughts.

It doesn’t.

Once I get inside the apartment and feed Molly and Maybelle, I try to sit down to read a book, but my gaze strays to the one personal thing hung on my wall. The drawing Aaron made of the girls, which I had framed weeks ago. My eyes fill with water automatically.

I can’t stay here.

Grabbing my keys, I crate the dogs and return outside.

The bar it is.

Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

Aaron

“You’re getting slow!” Finn shouts as he passes me, his hockey stick almost making me trip.

“Am not,” I lie, pushing to gain speed. It’s not like I’ve had much time to practice my skating technique while I was working two jobs and handling stuff at home.

All that should hopefully be getting better soon. Finn officially became the farm’s manager today, which means I’m off the hook.