I should’ve expected it. She told me word-for-word that I couldn’t go ahead and develop feelings for her. Going against her request was my choice—if I can consider that a choice. Wren came into my life like a fucking bulldozer. Actually, that’s not right. She came into my life like a warm spring wind. One that makes you realize what you’ve been missing for months. You think you’re okay with the winter temperatures until you step outside and are hit with the hint of warmth that spring and summer will bring, and you think, I didn’t realize I could feel this good until now.

And she wants nothing to do with me.

Maybe if she’d have told me that she had feelings for me too, I’d have fought harder. No way would I have accepted her bullshit excuse of trying to protect me. I’m a grown man who can decide what kind of risks I want to take, not that growing old with her could be considered a risk. If eventual disease comes in her baggage, then so be it. I don’t love her with conditions.

But her face was made of stone as she told me I’d made a mistake. At some point, I was sure I’d caught her facade slipping, but I blinked and it was back on. As if she couldn’t care less whether we weren’t in each other’s lives anymore.

Our connection was not one I imagined, that I know. She can pretend all she wants that she doesn’t appreciate me, but I know she does. And I’ve seen the way she looks at me and touches me. The physical aspect of our relationship was not a problem. In fact, it was more incredible than anything I could’ve ever experienced with anyone else, and I’m convinced it was the same for her.

But she was closed off right from the start. Convinced herself that us feeling things for each other was a bad thing. I thought I could change her mind by becoming involved with her, but clearly, that was a naïve thought. She’s always blocked any possibility of falling for me, so I can’t hold it against her if she doesn’t love me the way I love her. It’s my damn fault.

Still, that doesn’t ease the fracturing happening in my chest right now, tearing me in two. This isn’t a natural pain. I feel like I’m having a heart attack, like I’m bursting at the seams.