Hurrying to match her gait, I grasp her hand softly. “So why does it look like you’re running away?”

Lips pinched tightly, she shakes her head.

“Wren, come on,” I say, squeezing her cold hand and making her slow down. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s just…” The sigh she lets out is not impatient. More like a popped balloon. “It’s hard to see them, is all.”

My brows furrow. “Why?”

“Because Aqidah has all the things I might have wanted and none of the guilt.”

Her words are a kick to the gut.

“She has the husband and the children and no worry whatsoever,” she adds before biting her lip. “You know she never got tested? She said she’d rather not know. As if being in the dark will keep Alzheimer’s away.”

The last part of what she says is a blur. I’m still focused on the fact that she is jealous of Aqidah’s life.

“But…” I start, the right words escaping me. “Why does it make you sad? It should be encouraging to see her get all of this, no?”

Kids. Friends. Someone she could fall in love with and marry.

Someone like me.

A vigorous shake of her head makes the morsel of hope I had shrivel away.

“I could never. What she’s chosen for her life makes no sense to me, after what happened with our respective parents.” She quickly glances back at the venue. “I told you, I wouldn’t put someone through the process of watching me disappear, and I wouldn’t have kids. Even if I could go through IVF to have embryos that don’t carry my eFAD genes, I would never put children through what I’ve lived with my mother.”

I stare at her, stunned, as she shrugs. “It always makes me sad to see her with her family, which is why I avoid it. I don’t need to be reminded of what I could never have.”

I don’t even realize I’ve stopped walking until Wren turns around and looks at me quizzically.

“Is that…” I swallow forcefully. “Is that really what you believe? That you could never have what she has?”

She frowns. “Of course it is.”

There was never any doubt that Wren has some huge biases about things, but until this precise moment, I’d never realized just how deep they ran. She doesn’t simply think that a relationship with me is a bad idea. She’s constructed her life around the mindset that anyone in her position should be a martyr and keep everyone at bay.

And here I am. The bastard who fell for her anyway.

She did warn me, but I never realized how much she believed in this until now. Saying she doesn’t agree with Aqidah for getting married and living a life she wanted… Where does that leave me?