He knew because, until recently, we shared an intimacy I’d only seen in a rare few other couples. My sister-in-law Lia used to eye my relationship with Simon with such hunger, I felt guilty.

Then, she reconnected with Asher and she lived in her own wedded wonderland.

As my world—all its imperfect beauty with the constancy of song and laughter—began to collapse.

“He was scared, Ella. Frightened for both of you.”

I made a noncommittal sound.

I wanted to go back to then.

The baby kicked.

No, I didn’t. Then, I wouldn’t have this child growing inside me.

Yet, even with the child inside me and my mother here, I’d never felt more alone.

12

Simon

I pulled into Dave and Marsha’s drive as apprehension licked at my guts. I blew into my cupped hands, hoping the air would warm my stiff fingers. My stomach churned. My reception this morning was sure to be chillier than the air.

I walked to the front door and rang the bell. I rocked back on my heels and stared at the small, neat porch—a place I’d never stood before this visit. Ella and her family always entered the cottage via the kitchen door to the back of the house—a door I knew to almost always be unlocked and easy to open into the luscious smells of Marsha’s baking.

Dave opened the door, book in hand, reading glasses perched low on his nose. A deep frown settling over his face. “Bloody hell. What do you want?”

“To take my son sledding.” I pushed past Dave when he made to shut the door, my heart shoved up in my throat and my pulse beating mad thunks in my ears.

I jogged into the front room where Jeremiah lay on the hard settee, his phone inches from his nose. He sat up and scowled when he noticed me.

“We’re going sledding,” I said without preamble.

“Now, look here,” Dave said from behind me. His bluster bit into my ears and confidence.

I kept my gaze firm on my son. “We haven’t been in ages. Please, Miah.”

Jeremiah’s gaze darted from mine to Dave’s and back a few times before he stood and nodded. “Mom needs to rest.”

“I won’t bother her now. I promise.” I laid my hand over my heart.

Again, Jeremiah nodded, but his face pinched with concern. He bundled up into his winter gear while I promised Dave I’d have Jeremiah back in time for dinner.

We exited the house, and I grabbed the two wooden sleds from the trunk of the rental sedan. I pulled them by the ropes up the hill toward the park where most of the families in the area joined together for cocoa at the sledding hill. It was a bit early for the whole crew, but the hill would get more crowded as the week wore on.