She is flushed with excitement as she calls us all back together and whizzes through her presentation. ‘I imagine that our company might not top many young people’s lists of preferred workplaces,’ she concedes, ‘but I want all that to change. We need to know how young people eat, and what influences a teenager’s food choices today. So my plan is to set up platforms for innovation …’ She pauses to jab at the text on the screen. God knows how she’s managed to hammer all of this together so quickly. The slick graphics belie the fact that this apparent new direction is panic-fuelled, in response to the barrage of negative media coverage. She must have been at it all weekend.

‘Each platform will be led, not by an old-style manager but a mentor,’ Rose explains, beaming around at all of us as we watch attentively from our stackable plastic chairs. ‘We’re moving into a new culture where every individual will feel empowered, and have ample opportunity for career progression and personal growth.’

‘What d’you think this means for us?’ I whisper to Belinda, who’s sitting next to me.

‘Haven’t the faintest,’ she murmurs back. ‘This is all news to me. D’you think you’ll still have to sort out her rogue pube emergencies?’

I smirk. ‘Maybe one of the new innovation platforms will take care of that?’

We turn back to the front as Rose invites questions. Belinda shoots up her hand. She’s an eager, energetic type, whom I imagine was excellent in goal attack position in netball. ‘Yes, Belinda?’ Rose says.

‘Obviously,’ she starts, ‘there are issues with implementing a policy of recruiting only young people.’

Rose nods curtly. ‘Erm, yes, of course.’

‘We can’t be seen to be discriminatory,’ Belinda adds.

‘No, obviously not.’ Rose beams around the room, clearly trying to mask a flash of I’d-never-thought-of-that panic, and eager to wrap things up now.

‘Are you planning to launch a graduate recruitment scheme?’ Belinda asks.

‘Nothing as formal as that,’ Rose says breezily. ‘I’m just looking to bring in lots of new, young, creative minds to shake things up.’

‘Okay. But will HR be involved in the setting up of—’

‘It’ll be done very carefully,’ she says with a note of impatience that clearly means Oh, do piss off, HR.

‘But what if older people, who are already employed here, want to get involved?’ Belinda persists.