Back home, Izzy seems a little glum, and I wonder if it’s because she’s not entirely keen about going away with her dad, her grandparents and all her aunts, uncles and cousins. ‘You’ll have fun,’ I say as I clear the table after dinner. ‘You always love it up there, don’t you?’

‘Yeah, I s’pose,’ she says, fiddling with her hair.

Despite my quizzing, I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Maybe she thinks she shouldn’t appear too excited at the prospect of getting away from me? I’d hate her to feel that way, and go all out to enthuse her about it.

Hand-made patchwork quilts! Wood-burning stoves! ‘It sounds amazing,’ I say in my most positive voice.

Of course, it’s her first holiday since her dad and I broke up. It’s bound to feel weird for her, with me not going too, and I feel frustrated that I don’t know how to make it okay.

Later on, Andy calls to suggest that I might take this opportunity to ‘have a holiday too’, and that I ‘probably need one’. I remind him that I have already taken some leave, and do in fact have a proper job, which might not involve me saving patients from hormonal collapse, but still requires me to give notice before I can have a holiday. Plus – plus! – I don’t really need him to suggest when I might take time off, thank-you-very-much!

On a positive note, it must have been the stress of trying to minute yesterday’s meeting that had me imagining all kinds of witherings and/or crumblings happening to my nether regions. I seem to be fine down there, not that I am ever going to do it with anyone ever again, so it doesn’t really matter what kind of state it’s in.

Chapter Twelve

Sunday, July 28

Penny disagrees strongly. She has a theory that I am ‘ready’ to meet someone new, that it is ‘time’.

‘I couldn’t be less interested,’ I tell her as Izzy and Maeve run ahead with Bobby in the park. Jules and I often help each other out with childcare, for which I’ve been especially grateful since Andy and I broke up. She and Erol are out on an afternoon date.

‘I’m not talking anything serious,’ Penny adds. ‘I just mean a casual thing to perk you up a bit.’

I splutter. ‘I don’t need perking up. I’m absolutely fine as I am.’

She rolls her eyes. ‘Oh, come on, Viv. We could find you someone nice, just to have fun with.’

‘Right, okay.’ I chuckle, deciding to indulge her by playing along. ‘So who d’you have in mind for me?’