Then there was the time he stripped off his clothes and ran around naked in the library. Apparently Penny ‘let him’ do that too (‘I was reading, darling’). I’ve heard how she took him on fashion shoots where ‘the make-up artist or model would play with him’; though, if there was a big social thing, there’d usually be a friend – or friend of a friend – she could drop him off with. Yet, amusingly, there’s always an extensive interview procedure before she ever leaves Bobby with anyone. Potential dog sitters are grilled.

Another aspect of Penny that I find fascinatingly bizarre is how unbothered she seems about Nick living on the other side of the world. Divorced from his New Zealander wife, he’s still showing no sign of returning to the UK. She has only ever showed me a single picture of him – bearded and blurry, possibly taken from half a mile away – and that was because I asked her to.

I find it hard enough with Spencer living a three-hour drive away from us. Maybe that’s why, every couple of months, I have a grocery order delivered to his flat.

‘Don’t they have groceries in Newcastle?’ Penny teased me when she found out about this.

I guess the fact is that we are very different, and her insistence that everyone would be ‘just fine’ if Andy and I broke up is doing nothing to sway my decision. As it is, he keeps on saying he’s sorry, and that he loves me, and somehow, we are managing to get through the days. Thankfully, Izzy still seems to have no idea that anything is wrong.

I’m actually quite impressed by the two of us. Our marriage might be in shreds, and every so often I can’t help grilling him yet again about his feelings for that woman, and why he did it – those terribly cyclical conversations which lead us precisely nowhere. But despite all of that, we are doing our utmost to keep up appearances in front of our daughter, or whenever we are in the company of other adults.

Whenever we’re out and about together, no one would guess there was anything wrong. I’d never have imagined we’d be capable of such Oscar-worthy performances.

Wednesday, February 27

I wake up to two revelations:

1. I have somehow made it to my fifty-third birthday without dying of misery and shame.
2. Culinary treats are being bestowed upon me as Izzy brings me breakfast in bed, comprising thickly buttered Cornish Wafers, a sliced banana and some grapes. She also presents me with a beautiful bangle that she made from her bead kit, and a hand-drawn birthday card depicting me looking pleasingly chic in a camel trench coat and jeans, walking Bobby.